Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
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Comments (86)
missanderson813 4
Just learned a new word. About to call the boyfriend and use it on him. Hopefully it doesn't make him as soft as your boyfriend was. Lol
Llamacod 11
It definitely wasn't him that was cumming
stiansr 8
He will probably never forgive you if you keep calling "it" a diddlestick
OffToTheGayBar 9
I read that as discostick. Damn you, Lady Gaga. *Shakes fist*
ImTheAlpha 30
A... Gay bar? O_o
GoW_Chick 15
What is with these fmls where getting a girl all hot and bothered gets them to knee you in the face or other such injures? Poor guy, Sex should not be this dangerous!
Llamacod 11
I think you're wrong. Sometimes, just sometimes sex should be that dangerous.
Fishbowl99 2
Well sucks for you... Happy St. Patrick's Day!
lainzilla 14
Maybe if you tried giving him a handjob instead he might have been more receptive. But really, you probably wouldn't be in the mood either if he gave you a black eye just before going down on him. :(
atomicbaboon 0
i wouldn't forgive you just because you called my penis a diddlestick
Skelebitch 0
Well put the knife away if things start to get hot??
Rockhard2540 4
That is crazy