Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
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Comments (86)
knifeywifey 0
This is great added to fav just for saying diddlestick. Laughed so hard at this
fourthfloor 3
I'm getting thumbed down, lol, nobody else finds this story a bit...weird? How do you get a knee in a guys eye and nose by getting excited when he is giving her oral sex? And hard enough to give him a swollen eye AND a bloody nose?
fourthfloor 3
I would like to hear what he is going to say when people see him with that face tomorrow...that might be actually funny. Specially the part where the diddlestick got involved....
HateLife66 0
Tally whackerr
7SeasOfRhye 1
ummm "diddlestick"?
ma77 9
Ah, the luck of the Irish!
KickItHigh 32
Sex scene... in real life. XD
pinkpixie06 11
Diddlestick?! lol
19riotgrrl83 0
Diddlestick?! What are you, six years old?
oarisimo 4
Children have no business even having sex. I'm guessing you're a child since you use terms like "diddlestick"...lol!