Sex, Awkward, Clumsy and Intimacy: The heat of the moment

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

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Same thing different taste

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 227

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 13 694

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 194

You deserved it 9 739

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 962

You deserved it 6 539

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 119

You deserved it 5 920

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 917

You deserved it 44 405

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 027

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 16:46 - United Kingdom - Loughton

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 825

You deserved it 3 845

Paco_el_Taco 17

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:56

That's not what he had in mind when he mentioned fisting earlier that night...

Soninuva 41

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:57

Well, at least now you can say that sex with you left him dizzy!

Comments

Malahkaa 19

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:56

That's one way to get pinkeye I guess...

liquifiednate 21

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:01

Ummm do you mean a black eye? Because you get pink eye from bacteria, not a sucker punch to the face.

Wakachulak 22

Thursday 9 April 2015 15:13

I don't quite get how you managed to punch him if you raised your arm above your head. Was this doggystyle?

limabeans101029 20

Thursday 9 April 2015 16:58

Well if it's missionary their face is generally above yours, in punching distance... I'm not sure how you'd manage it with doggystyle

Paco_el_Taco 17

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:56

That's not what he had in mind when he mentioned fisting earlier that night...

sureshadow 23

Thursday 9 April 2015 19:33

I accidentally down voted

MentalMonkey333 7

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:57

You could say that he was spinning for you..

orphanclubber 8

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:57

You could've just asked him to stop OP, no need to punch /s also this is more **** the boyfriends life :P

AndyPurdy 31

Thursday 9 April 2015 16:33

she said she ACCIDENTALLY punched him

MGS428 8

Friday 10 April 2015 5:04

Judging by the fact that she was about to reach ******, I'm gonna guess she didn't mean to punch him

garrett_8614 14

Friday 10 April 2015 15:01

Judging by the face at the end of his comment, I'm pretty sure it was sarcasm.

Soninuva 41

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:57

Well, at least now you can say that sex with you left him dizzy!

codytallica 38

Thursday 9 April 2015 7:58

Don't beat yourself up OP, pure accident and they happen. I'm sure he forgave you.

Marcelb 17

Sunday 26 April 2015 12:48

She didn't, she beat him up.

Lone_Wolf_______ 9

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:00

I bet he did not see that coming

abNormal62 23

Thursday 9 April 2015 9:26

If he got hit hard enough, he probably doesn't remember coming either

mikelwhalen 17

Thursday 9 April 2015 19:53

He didn't see her come either ?

shemademedoit 20

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:02

box much? ?

ham_spam 17

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:13

U spelled come wrong it's cum

glabberfasted 16

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:23

You spelled "you" wrong.

MzZombicidal 36

Thursday 9 April 2015 14:40

It literally doesn't matter.

ChristianH39 30

Thursday 9 April 2015 18:45

Your commentary on what matters doesn't matter.

connorgrant98 24

Friday 10 April 2015 1:52

No, it figuratively does not matter

VitalDistance 14

Thursday 9 April 2015 8:17

Hey at least you didn't discover he was a masochist.

Keywords

Friends Love Awkward Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management Poopoo peepee Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 942

You deserved it 2 485

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 831

You deserved it 4 042

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 613

You deserved it 26 149

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room whiteboards completely clean. My assistant had wiped all the white boards where I'd spent 10 hours writing the schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all the supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 707

You deserved it 7 098

Today, I got a call from the only company that asked me to come in for an interview of the many applications I submitted. I answered it even though I was at my current job. My boss heard and chewed me out. The call was to cancel the interview since the position was filled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 089

You deserved it 1 749

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 378

You deserved it 9 945

The heat of the moment

Same thing different taste

Really into it

Wrong sort of poking

Nosebleed

It's just a flesh wound!

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