By strandedguest - 30/09/2010 06:51 - United States

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 347
You deserved it 2 873

Same thing different taste

Top comments

QueenPersephone 9

The logic of this drunk guy bothers me. Why steal someones keys and then take a cab home?

FYLDeep 25

That's why you keep your keys in your pocket.


first lol bring it on haters I've been waiting to say this forever

no the mods are changing peoples comments I didn't say anything like that

MissErikaHart 0

ur stuff didn't get stolen so y the fml?

cantfightfate 0

don't be ashamed 32, I love cheese too. :)

Pearljammer001 0

in communist china, your keys steal hobos!

Girreth 7

I replied to the first comment to be at the top! OP, you're gonna be needing those painkillers soon.

pinkpillowz 0
FFML_314 11

Didn't need the painkillers? Tell your friend to call me next time (s)he has some.


why are you like Emo or something?

Girreth 7

Lol, TONGAN. I must salute you for being utterly clueless. ...sieghail.

popping pills out of misery while signing a wedding book

take the painkillers to kill ur pain about losing the keys :)

wow it's like 4 where I'm at if your in the states it's late or early either way all of you should be asleep :)

um dude. there are different time zones you know... I'm in Singapore and it's 6 pm. get your facts straight

it's funny I didn't know Singapore was on the United States but hey

FFML_314 11

aww I don't want a face palm take it back! >.<

FFML_314 11

It's to late for that. You both fail. It's OK. We all fail sometimes.

FFML_314 11

Especially me! I failed the other day when I married the first guy that told me I had a nice ass.

Anna, what are you talking about? I've never failed! Not once in my life! How dare you suggest such a thing?

FFML_314 11

Care to explain what's in your closet, Lani?

..... wow okay. Singapore is around 18 hours away from the USA. it's in Asia. geography fail.

Are you really that retarded? I mean come on not only do you not know what sarcasm is but if you read my first comment I said if you're in THE STATES as in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA moron. Unless you are saying you failed in which case I apologize for the meaness.

Ohnocurly 0

I agree with Pen. It's not a fail the first time. I think I failed when I married the second guy who told me that. but in my defense I thought he was different because he smacked it when he said those... beautiful words to me *tear*... so beautiful.

Are you talking about little ol' Narnia, Anna? It's always been there, silly goose. I don't believe in failure, but rather treating everything as a learning experience. Something didn't go as planned? Your joke fell on deaf ears? You've run out of rabbit food once again? Unless you're facing the guillotine, there's no excuse to see it any other way. You're only as brilliant and successful as you allow yourself to be.

u mean YOUR painkiller? blaming a friend...

BrendanR 0

Look at my picture, I look like a cheese-grater!

BananaSticker 0

11, how fuking boastful are you? anyone can have abs by simply reducing bodyfat. no pumping iron required. clearly u don't pump iron, look at your scrawny arms. and no I'm most definitely not jealous, you are just a boastful prick. period.


#11 u also look like a pedophile rapist with that look on your face...

RedPillSucks 31

@11 is the term you're looking for "washboard"? I'm not sure cheese grater abs would be especially flattering.

FYLDeep 25

That's why you keep your keys in your pocket.

Pooper_T_fml 0

I'll get those keys back for you.