Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started...

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 761

You deserved it 13 668

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 595

You deserved it 2 697

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 097

You deserved it 3 316

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 270

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 645

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 987

You deserved it 4 469

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 905

You deserved it 44 385

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 764

You deserved it 9 822

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 711

You deserved it 7 865

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 252

By C0r1nn3 - 07/06/2012 04:02 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 809

You deserved it 5 068

justmethough 8

Saturday 17 March 2012 1:57

Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?

Feared 9

Saturday 17 March 2012 2:02

Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(

Comments

mthurston 14

Tuesday 28 April 2015 15:11

U can fondle my "diddlestick" any day

Cgwinner 1

Thursday 28 January 2016 15:43

thats what you get for calling it a diddlestick

Morningstar1231 0

Wednesday 9 March 2016 5:02

Fondling his diddlestick..what are you 5?

JigglesGirl 19

Wednesday 13 July 2016 10:18

"Diddlestick" *facepalm* Oh, that made my night

ApricotQueen 17

Wednesday 19 October 2016 20:00

d i d d l e s t i c k

peterblack67 9

Sunday 21 February 2021 3:01

His diddlestick???

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 051

You deserved it 7 253

Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 887

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 389

Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 175

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 943

You deserved it 6 816

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 5 513

Today, my insanely religious 60-year-old neighbor screamed at me when I left my home to go to work. I was wearing jeans and that’s apparently improper for a female adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 517

You deserved it 319

Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 269

You deserved it 3 620