By FML Videos - United States - New York Runaway Truck Excuse me, coming through! 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BeerSlut - Portugal - Santa Marta De Penagui?o Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML I agree, your life sucks 24041 You deserved it 2155 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WorkWeirdo - Peru - Lima Today, my boss finally checked the presentation I have been working on for three weeks. She called me into her office, and told me everything was dreadful, and requested me to start from scratch. It's due in half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 17444 You deserved it 1530 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Houghton Le Spring Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight to leave for Hawaii when I received an urgent call from my neighbour saying that my house had been broken into. After rushing home and missing my flight, I had to explain to the police that my house wasn't burgled, it was just very messy. FML I agree, your life sucks 23583 You deserved it 5885 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By samgonzalessb - United States Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 41238 You deserved it 3811 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hlaalette - Belgium Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 27068 You deserved it 3051 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 22/5/2020 23:00 Slip of the tongue Today, a few army recruiters came to my school to discuss their jobs with us. When asked to say our name and what we wanted to do when we were older, I said I wanted to be a prosecutor. Everyone started laughing. Turns out everyone thought I said prostitute, including the recruiters. FML I agree, your life sucks 1428 You deserved it 165 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Seattle Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML I agree, your life sucks 68649 You deserved it 4650 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By laundry day again... - United States Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML I agree, your life sucks 45638 You deserved it 3518 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Desertdryspell Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML. I agree, your life sucks 2421 You deserved it 205 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By matou - France - Caluire Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 32276 You deserved it 3623 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML I agree, your life sucks 21479 You deserved it 6730 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hate2Date - United States Today, fifteen minutes after dinner was served, my blind date says "It's good that you're smart. Not to be rude, but most girls aren't. I mean, at some point, I'm going to pull my dick out of your mouth and then it's good if you have something interesting to say." Check please. FML I agree, your life sucks 47519 You deserved it 8157 226 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML I agree, your life sucks 48863 You deserved it 3427 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 4083 You deserved it 450 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - United States Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML I agree, your life sucks 33068 You deserved it 3417 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML I agree, your life sucks 48333 You deserved it 2895 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 8676 You deserved it 34628 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Etyl - Indonesia Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 27804 You deserved it 3440 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sick Guy - United States - Boynton Beach *buys case of Listerine* Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 4840 You deserved it 326 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sparks - United States Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 28651 You deserved it 14929 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rejected - United States - Charlotte Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML I agree, your life sucks 44110 You deserved it 8881 316 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By harry - France Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML I agree, your life sucks 25662 You deserved it 4117 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DeadDude Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML I agree, your life sucks 35971 You deserved it 3185 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gameguy3424 - United States Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML I agree, your life sucks 44511 You deserved it 3188 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kids are meh - United States - Ponchatoula Today, I told my cousin it would be okay if he stayed the weekend after a fight with his wife. He didn't tell me he was bringing his 4 kids. They've watched funny cat videos for hours and they laugh like maniacs. FML I agree, your life sucks 12023 You deserved it 1330 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML I agree, your life sucks 67013 You deserved it 3518 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By douglas - United States Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML I agree, your life sucks 40101 You deserved it 8225 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/8/2020 23:01 Let's go girls! Today, someone said that women shouldn’t hate their menstrual cycles, because the hormonal changes were so "interesting". Sure, that’s the word I’d use for alternating between cramps and zits, being an insatiable nymphomaniac, and being so depressed I want to die. FML I agree, your life sucks 1488 You deserved it 125 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stdfree_hopefully Today, I drove 2 hours to spend the night with a man who I have been seeing for a few weeks. We had sex for the first time. About an hour later, he told me he wasn't really into me and asked to be friends. Then, he apologised because he has herpes. FML I agree, your life sucks 8589 You deserved it 2087 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - United States - Springfield Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML I agree, your life sucks 23023 You deserved it 1849 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 41828 You deserved it 11585 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 38430 You deserved it 4005 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 17:02 - Canada - Waterloo The more the merrier Today, I apparently I created a group chat with the four guys I saw any potential with, ruining every single one of the possible future relationships all at once because they now know about each other. I give up on dating. FML I agree, your life sucks 162 You deserved it 1569 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Forevor_a_potato" Today, I have to reschedule the vacation I had planned for eight months because I have the flu, and feel too sick to go and enjoy myself at a waterpark. This vacation is the only thing that's kept me sane these last two months. FML I agree, your life sucks 1837 You deserved it 206 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rachel - United States - Burton Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML I agree, your life sucks 18965 You deserved it 3723 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonamous - United States Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML I agree, your life sucks 22080 You deserved it 9073 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML I agree, your life sucks 29275 You deserved it 18220 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 05:00 Water, water, everywhere Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1368 You deserved it 130 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Kids, eh? Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1462 You deserved it 142 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, I realized that I hadn't heard anything about my upcoming class reunion. Turns out it was an invite via Facebook that I didn't receive because most of my classmates are on my block list. FML I agree, your life sucks 3258 You deserved it 7708 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jkjorn | 15 #7730716 - Friday 30 November 2018 20:19 I HOPE it was the sound of the tires screeching as it was being pushed down the road 0.0 Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Ellimac21 | 11 #7730706 - Friday 30 November 2018 19:56 Euuh... Is it me or did I hear chilling screams ? I hope no one was in the black car. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Ellimac21 | 11 #7730706 - Friday 30 November 2018 19:56 Euuh... Is it me or did I hear chilling screams ? I hope no one was in the black car. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply jkjorn | 15 #7730716 - Friday 30 November 2018 20:19 I HOPE it was the sound of the tires screeching as it was being pushed down the road 0.0 Send a private message 2 0 Reply
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 320 You deserved it 230 4 Comments
Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how... I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 394 6 Comments