Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML
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Top comments
justmethough 8
Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?
Feared 9
Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(
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Comments (86)
th4m4ster 6
make him a sandwich
GODert 8
Just fondling doesn't do the trick you have too suck it
WLCD123 0
To*
DreaminOfMusic 0
*too
1crabbygirl 10
New rule: you also have to be able to spell it! DOH!
Llamacod 11
*also :p
downtime 13
Despite the grammar, he is kind of right...You just injured the guy, he can touch himself, you're gonna have to do something he can't do to peak his interest again :P
JCLPASCUAL 4
haha exactly ^
stevenmx86 8
Maybe if you had played with his dick then things would've turned out differently...
Zimmington 21
But maybe that's how small it is. It isn't worthy of being called a dick it's just a diddlestick...
Gondile 4
I used to lick vaginas like you until I take a knee to the face
Llamacod 11
Took, its took. You are using the past tense in the rest of the sentence
Gondile 4
Hmmm yup, my bad.
JumbledGirl 2
LOOOL
thisiscat 14
What kind of monster are you!?
Llamacod 11
A one-eyed snake killer, that's what kind of monster
gantzlord 5
The kind of monster with a knee that shoots out of it's ****** when excited.
perdix 31
For a bloody nose OR a black eye, fondling the diddlestick may suffice, but since you caused both simultaneously, you need to toot the diddlestick to earn forgiveness. Thanks for the word "diddlestick." I'm going to put it on my palette right there by blumpkin, plumpa humpa and "beat it like it owes me money."
BostonBruinsFan 8
What color are u right now? You should say wat color you r feeling at the end of your posts, and keep ur pic
perdix 31
It's the weekend -- I'm beige.
laurensauren 9
...diddlestick
WoshJinchell93 11
Damn, would tear.
laurensauren 9
..what does that even mean?
WoshJinchell93 11
Means "hey gorgeous"
zebralover23 14
Ouch..
Bunnizlovely 1
Diddlestick. Lmfao this had me rolling.