Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started...

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 13 717

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 2 709

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 119

You deserved it 3 327

Kinky

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 284

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 913

You deserved it 8 666

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 4 481

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 08:29 - United States - Inglewood

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 937

You deserved it 44 436

By Anonymous - 30/05/2013 03:55 - United States - Redlands

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 796

You deserved it 9 833

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 7 888

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 258

Raise the pressure

By Anonymous - 14/05/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. He got on top and started kissing my ear when a warm liquid went down my neck. My boyfriend had a gushing nosebleed, which went threw the pillowcase and the pillow. I got cockblocked by a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 178

justmethough 8

Saturday 17 March 2012 1:57

Is it just me or did the word "diddlestick" make everyone's day?

Feared 9

Saturday 17 March 2012 2:02

Fiddle with his diddlestick, and he didn't forgive?... Aw fiddlesticks :(

Comments

rajdeep 8

Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:07

HAHAH! aww that just sucks for you, you got that excited and i'm sure that knee to the nose made him come right back up :/

InvisibleMonster_fml 16

Tuesday 20 March 2012 13:26

Lmfao!

jayz78 0

Tuesday 20 March 2012 22:21

really, he stopped? Quitter...

alimasud 4

Wednesday 21 March 2012 8:30

diddlstick xD that guy must be scared of making any kind of moves now ;D

arielasa 10

Monday 26 March 2012 7:40

OMG. DIDDLESTICK. XD i'm totally using that from now on. lulz.

ultra_notorious 26

Wednesday 28 March 2012 21:11

poor dude, he should get sex three times a day for the next month

DanteWest1000 5

Tuesday 3 April 2012 5:06

Sounds like a romantic comedy in the making....

jdortega 2

Sunday 13 May 2012 11:46

My gf stomped on my head one time when I was eating her out. She freaked out and I just smiled down the blood from the inside of my cheek and kept going. You'd need to sledge hammer my spine for me to care enough to even hesitate eating the cooch lol