Miscellaneous: Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the...

By ssondik - 22/06/2015 00:50 - United States - Hebron

Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 006

You deserved it 5 147

Miscellaneous

Compromises

This Charming Man

Where's the beef?

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 771

You deserved it 4 074

Low key

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 08:01 - Australia - Smithfield

Today, my family is placing bets on my being pregnant. I'm experiencing a very painful miscarriage and no one knows. I didn't want to eat a pre-made gas station salad when I visited for lunch and apparently the only explanation could be pregnancy, not that I didn't want to die from food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 17:35 - United States

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 912

You deserved it 29 890

Wobbly

By CheddarJack89 - 01/12/2012 08:35 - United States - Manchester

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 792

You deserved it 2 464

Movie night

By heartbrokenl12453 - 27/10/2019 12:00

Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 118

That's a mother

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 20:00

Today, my mom and I got into a fight about a topic we agreed on. Seems like we're destined to never get along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 497

You deserved it 302

By missmycomp - 12/11/2009 14:36 - Singapore

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 725

You deserved it 3 127

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 534

You deserved it 5 046

Baby steps

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 13:00

Today, my class got baby dolls for the week to teach us how to be good parents. After school, I went to the store with my mom with the baby doll. When I got home, I realized that I left the baby doll in a shopping cart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 2 724

By GottaGetOuttaHere - 09/11/2018 13:30

Today, during my yearly review, I was told by my boss that mistakes in my paperwork will be investigated by our company legal team. He also said, "Think of them as the TV or movie version of Internal Affairs" and said I would be considered "guilty until proven innocent." I can't afford to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 187

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 250

You deserved it 4 924

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 02:11 - Canada

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 156

You deserved it 2 880

By Anonymous - 16/07/2012 00:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 871

You deserved it 2 231

By perfectmoment - 30/11/2009 00:47 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend to have a shoulder to cry on because my grandpa died. As soon as I told him, he started crying and telling me how much he missed his grandmother, who died six years ago. I spent the majority of the phone call listening to him wail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 491

You deserved it 5 972

By Anonymous - 03/03/2017 12:00

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. Couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 837

You deserved it 946

TMI

By ew. - 17/08/2010 04:28 - Canada

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 191

You deserved it 4 844

By Jesusman - 08/12/2018 14:00

Today as I helped my boss set up catering at our café, she was stressing about having enough time for everything when the DJ chimed in with "Why don't you ask him to help?" It got awkwardly quiet as they looked at me and he realized I was a girl. Then he tried saying "by him, I mean Jesus". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 760

You deserved it 274

By Soapy - 06/04/2017 16:00

Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 718

You deserved it 413

By Mr Eek - 25/10/2008 16:57

Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 469

You deserved it 12 401

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 443

By ERnightmare - 02/08/2018 21:00 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was lucky to have an extremely attractive doctor operating on me. This would have been great had he not been removing a foreign object from my vagina after an ill-fated masturbation session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 062

You deserved it 4 107

By Karie-Rose - 06/02/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 618

You deserved it 5 709

Odd reason, but OK

By firedsucks - 20/03/2021 17:01

Today I got fired from a very promising new job where I made three times my previous salary from my previous job. Why? Because of a personal belonging, my bumper sticker that says, "How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT." FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 2 202

By TheMike23 - 11/01/2016 05:28 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 851

You deserved it 2 269

By WayTooMuchFacebook - 04/02/2012 05:07 - United States

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 111

You deserved it 33 458

Move it, now!

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 05:01

Today, I had just gotten out of the bath when a police officer knocked on my door. I answered in my towel, and he told me I had to leave due to a bomb scare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 112

By mikuxxhatsune - 05/06/2017 02:00 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 479

You deserved it 258

By Mike Polk - 03/10/2011 12:37 - United States

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 5 905

By poorgirl - 17/05/2016 13:03 - United States

Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 189

You deserved it 1 676

By lonely loser - 22/08/2014 18:04 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 688

You deserved it 6 748

By LonelyLoner - 26/11/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 840

You deserved it 38 124

By Noah - 02/11/2016 14:24

Today, a friend pointed out to me that I bear a striking resemblance to Anne Frank. I'm a 16-year-old guy, and I'm inclined to agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 431

You deserved it 816

By Instacreep - 20/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that when someone posts a "story" on Instagram, they can see who has viewed it and how many times. I have been viewing an ex's story every day for the past week. We do not follow each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 4 368

By KeepOnTruckin' - 18/05/2019 17:50

Today, I had to help my best friend plan his upcoming date with the girl he doesn't know I'm secretly in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 532

By Invisible - 22/05/2009 19:27 - Switzerland

Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 679

You deserved it 12 164

Ideal first date

By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 05:01

Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 14:20 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 031

You deserved it 31 904

By ducklover1 - 19/06/2012 03:31 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 616

You deserved it 2 146

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 852

You deserved it 6 051

By ko - 09/12/2012 00:25 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 017

You deserved it 2 152

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Top comments

sleepisweak 22

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

at least you looked fabulous.

abNormal62 23

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

Ariel? Is that you? Own the party and work the crowd Revenge is a dish best served cold

sleepisweak 22

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

at least you looked fabulous.

thatsdndn1 19

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Monday 22 June 2015 19:23

yes at a pool party, with long dreas:/

appygirlify 17

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Monday 22 June 2015 19:46

She probably looked a little strange to all the other guests, which is upsetting. I'm sorry op.

sleepisweak 22

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Monday 22 June 2015 20:22

I'm sure it was possibly/probably embarrassing, but its best to make best of all moments.

KayDee29 31

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

Well, you were probably the best looking one there!

Marshallino 21

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Monday 22 June 2015 21:14

Yes, but I guess swimming with a dress would be kind of difficult.

kittythekat 15

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

Ouch! I'm sorry Hun that's gotta suck. Personally I'd ask him to pay you back for the money he cost you on his little "joke". Although I bet you looked absolutely gorgeous!

RuBloKon 15

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:10

Don't be tight by getting him to pay you back, just beat him at his own game.

TheTardis123 11

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:18

Way to assume it was a guy...

DraconicFeline 31

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:19

You don't generally call girls "dicks".

PANDORUM89 21

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Monday 22 June 2015 23:37

#12 I agree and disagree. if she spent $200 on hair and makeup then I'm wondering how much she spent on the dress? I'd ask the friend to help pay at least half since the money never would've been spent had they not decided to play an expensive prank. however OP should not have spent money on something she could not afford. the only real reason I'm torn is because some people like myself will treat themselves to something expensive (like going on my first vacation ever next May) so I save up for it and make certain sacrifices so that I can see my wish come to life. so if it was the same for OP then I would have been extremely hurt by my friend for have done that. and I'd ask for some compensation since they wasted my time and money for a quick laugh.

shessohighh 10

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Monday 22 June 2015 23:42

$200 is a bit excessive for just hair and makeup for one night.. I don't think the friend owes OP anything. It was a dick move, but the friend didn't know OP was going to go out and spent hundreds.

militarybrat 21

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Tuesday 23 June 2015 5:44

43. Not really that is actually quite cheap.

DArthurVaderian 18

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Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:46

That's pretty cheap for what should have been a high class event

DArthurVaderian 18

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Tuesday 23 June 2015 13:47

My mom has spent several thousand per dress for events like that

abNormal62 23

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:58

Ariel? Is that you? Own the party and work the crowd Revenge is a dish best served cold

eerrun 8

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Monday 22 June 2015 17:59

fight him

Sandsh8rk 36

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:15

Great idea there Einstein.

EvilTurtle 35

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Monday 22 June 2015 20:55

challenge him to a dance off

AlwaysWatching 27

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Tuesday 23 June 2015 18:04

A dance off in a ballroom dress

daddysgirl243 21

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:02

I bet you looked beautiful

cryssycakesx3 22

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Tuesday 23 June 2015 5:17

maybe not.

hopper4ooo 12

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:02

Now you have time to plan your revenge :)

runninggirl8 16

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Monday 22 June 2015 18:05

your friend is an ass but i bet you looked 10 times better than them...

JustinJK 21

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Monday 22 June 2015 23:25

I actually went to a Taco Bell recently completely shit hammered after a charity event. I was wearing a TUX. My friend and I pretended to be on a super fancy date.