By daniel55 - 18/02/2013 00:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 366
You deserved it 5 862

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Sounds like he really likes ya.

sounds like a real nutcracker


Sounds like he really likes ya.

Oh don't worry, threats are just how he expresses his love.

Misswildsides 22

This can be a good chance to prove to the dad that what he might think about OP is wrong.

BellaBelle_fml 23

61 - I don't think that her father necessarily had any prejudices against OP. He was simply making sure that OP knew just how seriously he takes his daughter's well being and happiness.

Is it bad that I dream of one day being a father that strikes this much fear into the heart of the teenage boys my daughter brings home?

wlddog 14

125 No. Nothing wrong with that at all. I myself look forward to crushing the fantasies of my daughters future boyfriends. If you make the first one piss his pants, the rest will think twice about using my daughter as just another person to add to their belt.

I think it's really strange these fathers do that. How about making sure your daughter picks out good guy, you know, raise her to be a smart woman?

I'd hate to think what the mom said.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

They are just scare tactics. Although the parent would be upset if their kid got hurt, legally they couldn't do anything about it.

Um, since when have legalities prevented anyone from hurting people?

Who cares if it's illegal parents will do a lot of things for their children no matter the consequences.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22

Oh ok my bad... Ya they could retaliate then go to jail then completely miss out on their child's life altogether. That route just makes so much more sense and has a shit ton more logic to it.

74- People never do things that are illegal! Just the other day a guy pulled a gun on me, and this is how it went down: "but you can't shoot me, that's illegal!" "Aw shit you're right!" *puts gun away* "well can I slap you?" "No, that's assault." "Well what can I do?" "Cursing isn't illegal." "WELL FUCK YOU KIND SIR."

MarisaCB 16

Yeah... words of advice? Don't hurt his daughter..

Or start wearing a cup haha.

That is... just in case you somehow do hurt her.

I don't think a cup would help if ops balls were in his hands...

All OP needs to do is say Chuck Norris is his uncle, and the dad will back off.

xblair 11

73 - your picture is so cute!!!

sounds like a real nutcracker

jimbob_76592 5


GoodLookingGeese 10


Ba dum Tsss!

I've heard of blue balls before but not black & blue balls.

Most women have heard of black and blue balls before. It's a line from Sex and the City, the show.

Sex and the City is crap. Yes, I am a girl.

I never said I liked the show; I had two female roommates, both 5 years older than me, that constantly watched it. I don't even know what episode it was on because I was doing the dishes and only heard it. That was back in 2003. But just like people can't sense sarcasm on this site, they also love to assume. This site just got a million more times entertaining to me. Thanks!

You, my friend, just committed a hypocrisy. At no point did they say that you liked sex and the city, but made their feelings of the show known. You were not mentioned, you assumed that they were saying you had bad taste in tv, then criticized them for making assumptions they didn't make based off of assumptions you made...hypocrisy is one of the few things I cannot stand!

mecreys 7

127 every single person is a hypocrite.

You're a hypocrite.

Well the obvious solution is to have sex with her constantly and tell him about how happy she is about it

ThatGuyWhoTalks 10


At least you know her father respects and loves her more than anything else in the world. That isn't so common these days. If you treat her right, you've got nothing to worry about. P.S.: If you two have a fight, keep it between you two and no one else. Otherwise, you both will be known as the drama couple and no one likes to hang out with the drama couple.

And that if he wants to keep his balls attached to his body he can't break up with her ever.

I think he can if goes about it appropriately (not via a text), I think he will be able to keep his balls.

Loves her maybe, but I don't think threatening her boyfriend is really very respectful of her. I know dad's are rarely ever okay with their little girls dating but I don't get why they always seem to have to be such brutes about it. It's not exactly the basis of a healthy relationship which I'm assuming he wants his daughter to have either.

wlddog 14

139 It is called weeding out the unworthy. If daddy turns up the heat right away, his daughter will find out pretty darn fast if 'boyfriend' like her for her or if he is just trying to het into her pants. Its called being a good dad. We may not always make perfect sense to you, but we have our reasons.

Well... That doesn't give the father an excuse to be a ******* asshole.

wlddog 14

173 Its called turning up the heat. So it kind of does.

No it doesn't

Hmmm... I can't wait to be a dad

Start making a list, so you don't forget the lines that instill real fear.

Beats showing you his shotgun collection ;)

Shotgun collection is for date #2. Dad has to keep up his image.