Health: Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went...

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 882

You deserved it 3 270

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 96

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 085

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 201

You deserved it 1 701

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 258

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 3 710

By sicktomystomach - 02/05/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 709

You deserved it 5 218

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

Comments

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

Kyzahhh 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:03

Atleast when you have kids and they complain about feeling sick you can tell them this story and not to complain till this has happened to them

enonymous 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:09

It's good that she's a chick. Blame it on a really strong period causing your colon to cramp up

FailBear920 19

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:10

Honey badger dont give a shit! That sucks op i feel bad

hypuuurness 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:15

18- haha I love that

zuzupetalsYO 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:33

Good thing you are right next to a shower. Get in it!

ArcadePie 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:12

This happened to me in school when i was six and people still slag me about it to this day

touch_the_sky 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 14:36

It's a shitty situation.

DEADTR00PER 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:20

Either take your friends clothing and clean up and dispose of shitty clothing. Or try to go home??

abbyelizabeth 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 18:19

I think I've read at least five FML's similar to this. :|

xTexasLonghorn1 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:01

ur profile picture. was it taken in Madison, ms at calk of the walk

Po1ntBlank 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:54

I confirmed this FML xD

Pebbles89 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 21:49

#50 are those naked people???!

Charkan_fml 7

Sunday 11 September 2011 22:04

#84 Why yes, they are.

chrissi3vintage 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

shit happens and we have to deal with them. *awkward moment* with a fellow of your friend.

HeavyScout 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:02

Ahh, I see what you did there

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:25

Good job. Would you like an award?

BooGhosted 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:50

Would you?^ Cause I do.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:55

No soup for you!!

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

herpitydurteedur 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:15

That's what I always do :/ especially cause I live in a house where people could care less if I am covered in sick or not. Besides, if ou crap first, there's less of a chance that you will when you actually do puke.

sxe_beast 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:19

The tub and toilet in some bathrooms are night right next to each other. Like mine. I sit on the toilet and hold the waist basket O.O.

Ames19 6

Sunday 11 September 2011 12:08

21: i did the same thing..

sunrise1234 3

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

multitasking is a good skill to have(;

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:54

Pretty sure OP just explained why multitasking fails here.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:52

Lol must've been quite the party to have been sleeping in your pants. ;)

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:09

They could've easily been pajama pants.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:45

Very possible, and was probably then worded that way because "shit my pants" is the cliché term. Nice catch sir.

lmBobSaget 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

SCREAMING EAGLE!

btstig 11

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:57

Sometimes keeping shit to yourself is a good idea.

hurrican_fml 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 20:01

Oh I see what you did there :)

polishboy 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 7:00

Very punny sir. Good one

joefrazier 20

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:58

Man that is messed up

slick5880 22

Sunday 11 September 2011 9:22

Good looking dog. Bad comment.

xlorawrz 9

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:59

The "Oh, shit, please tell me that didn't just happen" events always tend to happen at houses other than your own. Sorry OP, hope you took care of yourself.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Sunday 11 September 2011 11:12

Yeah like one time when i was at my friends house, there was a pocket knife on her bathroom counter and I started looking at it. Then I dropped in in the toilet.