Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
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Top comments
karagarren 8
Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once
ElainaCutsYou 0
Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.
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Comments (124)
Madiluvsyuh98 2
Haha good times
heartbreakatdawn 0
Oh. My. God. O_O
kathuzada 6
Here is what you do, take your pants off remove your underwear and wrap it around the shit hide it in a cabinet, before you leave use the restroom, take it and smuggle it out, find a garbage can. Don't forget to wipe.
marlie_x 8
Are you speaking from experience? Haha
MovieFreak1978 11
doesnt always work that well when it happened to me it was diarrhea i needed a shower after and had to do laundry at 2am
kathuzada 6
No, but my friends however
gemno333 8
That's why I now carry a pharmacy in my bag pack in case of an emergency. "Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea. BOOM!! PEPTO BISMOL!!" ^_^; hahaha
imaninja1 9
I see what u did there
Pebbles89 9
#40 I do the same thing, I always have ibuprofen, benadryl, Imodium, chapstick, and tampons/ panty liners. I literally do carry around a pharmacy lol smart bitches lol
denvan 0
Don't lie it was your booty calls place
dontstealmyshoes 0
I literally lol'd in church at this
bpeppermint16 5
Why r u reading ur iPod in church?
VickLynx 6
Who doesn't these days......
dontstealmyshoes 0
I have add
DarkDesire13 1
:/
mrahhhhh 21
Thank god something like this never happened to me. I guess between the sub-par eating habits, walking in bare feet at home all the time, walking in the rain with only a t-shirt, and the high metabolism, I accidentally made a pretty strong immune system by having it deal with a bunch of shit all the time. But, you know, not the kind of shit OP is dealing with.
pinkspaceboundro 0
that's why u sit on the toilet and grab a trash can!!
emilo_fml 0
I felt as sick as you when I went through chemo a couple of years ago, feeling sick was my best friend.
VickLynx 6
I don't get what, "violently shit my pants" means? is that even possible?
fibsville 3
Yes. Yes it is. Those of us who have been that sick feel your pain, OP. Hopefully your friend will understand.