Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
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Top comments
karagarren 8
Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once
ElainaCutsYou 0
Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.
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Comments (124)
Ilikethenamesam 3
They will understand :)
ForeverGLFan 6
Oh man...I'm so sorry! Your friend will understand though, if they don't, they're a bad friend and you don't need them.
j3ebrules 13
aw that sucks. My ex did that once. I'm so worried about doing that that when I get really sick to my stomach, I sit on the toilet and grab a basin for the front end. No mess that way and all ends are covered. lol
SpamEatingChikn 0
I'd say it's time to lay off the McDonald's
talkitivgirl 1
^^^^ ahahaha LoL man that's frigging hilarious poor OP though :( that's a tough one!!
briaa23 4
damnn that sucks. just steal of pair of their pants and quickly throw yours away. and just think that shit happens. that actually happened to my brother once. he was coughing so hard he shit himself
SnipeFatPeople 6
That's some serious multitasking!
noodleyhead 7
You can always borrow your friends underwear.
pinkalicious224 7
Clean it before someone wakes up
thesalior 0
I laughed so freaking hard when I read this