Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
By
Anonymous
-
12/3/2012 04:16
- United States
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By
btstig
| 11
Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " cunt punt".
By
808Boyo
| 4
Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"
Comments
By
emvictoria
| 9
Ouch!
Reply
Krajjan
| 9
That's lawful cause for divorce right there.
Reply
reb1995_fml
| 3
5 - Just stop...
Reply
jtthegr8
| 26
5- getting your penis flicked isn't worth getting divorced over
Reply
desireev
| 17
I'm pretty sure that #5 was just joking.
I found it amusing anyway... Lol
I found it amusing anyway... Lol
Reply
kyarush
| 10
That's called a sense of humor #5. something you DO NOT get a divorce over...
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
last time I checked, sense of humor doesn't cause great dick pains.
Reply
acccccccc
| 1
"I was in the pool!"
Reply
cwbsmoker
| 5
I woulda beaver whacked her. :B
Reply
qazaq
| 1
167- Seinfeld reference ftw
Reply
EvilDave
| 13
@ #11 & #60 So, your husband punching you in the face or the breast or the vagina isn't worth getting divorced over either, yes?
By
808Boyo
| 4
Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"
Reply
j_cat187
| 19
Grab her ass it's over 9000!!!... Pounds.
Reply
skullcandifiedDJ
| 5
Hey, at least you got a free circumcision! Well... Kinda
Reply
ThatOneCanadian
| 0
i often lose skin when i am flicked
Reply
22cute
| 17
If this were a man doing similar to his wife all you trolls would be tucking it up and telling her to grow a sense of humor. So suck it up & grow a sense of humor, Gits!
Reply
erkasaurusrexx
| 0
amen, 126
Reply
btstig
| 11
But it's not 126 so chill and stfu.
Reply
kocoman500
| 2
#2 looks like Scumbag Steve
Just sayin'
Just sayin'
Reply
somebodybj
| 0
That's not even funny
Reply
whycantisignup
| 24
#126, there's a difference between having a sense of humour and inflicting pain on someone...
By
btstig
| 11
Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " cunt punt".
Reply
drunkonduty247
| 1
Awesome
Reply
Haiana04
| 3
"Game Ovaries"-Tosh.0
Reply
br0ccoli
| 14
3 - later he will be 'cock-blocked' by his 'cunt punt'
Penis: 1 'Cunt': 2
You won't win.
Penis: 1 'Cunt': 2
You won't win.
Reply
btstig
| 11
There are two other service entrances if the main gate is closed.
Reply
toalysium
| 15
After a proper cunt punt it's defective anyway, trade in for a new model.
Reply
ThatLSUFan
| 4
Tosh.o FTW!
Reply
erkasaurusrexx
| 0
58, just because the "main gate" is closed doesn't mean she's gonna give him it another way.
Reply
btstig
| 11
That's when you must woo her. Good bit of shots works too.
Reply
gipper22
| 0
Wam Bam right in the Clam.
Reply
WOGBRO
| 6
Nice idea although it could damage her quite a bit.
Reply
EvilDave
| 13
#180 So, you only care about damage to the woman and not the man. Interesting.
By
scoobyfiend
| 0
What the actual fuck is wrong with that women.
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
It's woman (singular) because not all of us women do stupid shit like that.
Reply
aleishaa_jadee
| 13
If you look close enough #51, I think you'll find they did single out that woman, not women in general they just didn't change the E in women to an A.. :)
Reply
MissMae93
| 23
56 - Well yes, I'm just pointing out the difference between "woman" and "women" for future reference.
Reply
scoobyfiend
| 0
Ur rite I shud b less kareless
Reply
enriquepp
| 4
O god why would you follow a grammar lesson with that?
You are right I should have been less careless.
You are right I should have been less careless.
Reply
scotty67
| 3
Obviously he was trying to be funny and ironic.
Reply
ankoku
| 2
That womenses are corrects!
Reply
KeyboardWarrior
| 10
72 don't knot understandz iruny.
Reply
KriiFahMoro
| 9
Whut r 72 trieing 2 sey? It sems fien 2 mea.
Reply
NuTrees
| 9
All yal some dumb bitches.
Reply
Aggro4u2c
| 0
Lol at irony
Reply
alexm501
| 0
Why do people say "actual fuck"? It's dumb. Like "the fuck" instead of "what the fuck".
By
Razzle_Dazzle_5
| 11
Should of slapped her in the face with your meat as a counter attack.
Reply
Typholsion
| 4
Cock Knocked
Reply
Swiftly
| 0
Give her a mushroom stamp right on the cheek.
Reply
erkasaurusrexx
| 0
fragile egos, men?
Reply
mattorama
| 15
If he had that much shrinkage there wasn't much to smack her with.
Reply
trollfaced
| 2
Husband used cock knock. Super effective!
Reply
Swiftly
| 0
Dick flicked
Reply
lobum
| 12
All 3 inches
By
perdix
| 29
Seinfeld fans!
You ought to slip some lobster into her eggs, that will make you even!
You ought to slip some lobster into her eggs, that will make you even!
Reply
zombicidal
| 11
revenge George Castanza style
Reply
Mister_Triangle
| 21
At least she knows about shrinkage
By
MakaPaka_fml
| 0
better the pickle than the eggs
By
Dirty_Minded_FML
| 2
Punch her in her vagina
Reply
RussianFox
| 13
So punching in the vagina is frowned upon but kicking is respected apparently.
Reply
DKjazz
| 20
Not everybody's into fisting. Understandable.
Reply
DangerousGirl91
| 2
U iz a bitchh
Reply
goldfishgod
| 20
Uh, no. If you wanted a comparable experience, you'd flick her clit with your untrimmed fingernails.
Reply
kerr888
| 0
Wow asshole much?
Reply
omfgshiz
| 7
Ouch lol!
By
mikeymayhem_87
| 15
Flick her in the nips and yell shrinkage? Or perhaps make "echoed" noises at her vagina?
Reply
TheDrifter
| 23
Flicking her nipples and yelling "saggage" would be more correct, but likely to get op in trouble.
By
vi3tno_romeo
| 5
I hope u got get back! Being flicked in that area is way too deep.
Reply
KeyboardWarrior
| 10
Err... What?