By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 014
You deserved it 4 670

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btstig 11

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

808Boyo 4

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"


Krajjan 9

That's lawful cause for divorce right there.

reb1995_fml 3

5 - Just stop...

5- getting your penis flicked isn't worth getting divorced over

desireev 17

I'm pretty sure that #5 was just joking. I found it amusing anyway... Lol

That's called a sense of humor #5. something you DO NOT get a divorce over...

last time I checked, sense of humor doesn't cause great dick pains.

"I was in the pool!"

cwbsmoker 5

I woulda beaver whacked her. :B

167- Seinfeld reference ftw

EvilDave 13

@ #11 & #60 So, your husband punching you in the face or the breast or the ****** isn't worth getting divorced over either, yes?

808Boyo 4

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

Grab her ass it's over 9000!!!... Pounds.

Hey, at least you got a free circumcision! Well... Kinda

i often lose skin when i am flicked

22cute 17

If this were a man doing similar to his wife all you trolls would be tucking it up and telling her to grow a sense of humor. So suck it up & grow a sense of humor, Gits!

erkasaurusrexx 0

amen, 126

btstig 11

But it's not 126 so chill and stfu.

#2 looks like Scumbag Steve Just sayin'

That's not even funny

#126, there's a difference between having a sense of humour and inflicting pain on someone...

btstig 11

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

Haiana04 3

"Game Ovaries"-Tosh.0

3 - later he will be '****-blocked' by his '**** punt' Penis: 1 'Cunt': 2 You won't win.

btstig 11

There are two other service entrances if the main gate is closed.

toalysium 15

After a proper **** punt it's defective anyway, trade in for a new model.

ThatLSUFan 4

Tosh.o FTW!

erkasaurusrexx 0

58, just because the "main gate" is closed doesn't mean she's gonna give him it another way.

btstig 11

That's when you must woo her. Good bit of shots works too.

Wam Bam right in the Clam.

Nice idea although it could damage her quite a bit.

EvilDave 13

#180 So, you only care about damage to the woman and not the man. Interesting.

What the actual **** is wrong with that women.

It's woman (singular) because not all of us women do stupid shit like that.

If you look close enough #51, I think you'll find they did single out that woman, not women in general they just didn't change the E in women to an A.. :)

56 - Well yes, I'm just pointing out the difference between "woman" and "women" for future reference.

Ur rite I shud b less kareless

O god why would you follow a grammar lesson with that? You are right I should have been less careless.

Obviously he was trying to be funny and ironic.

That womenses are corrects!

72 don't knot understandz iruny.

KriiFahMoro 9

Whut r 72 trieing 2 sey? It sems fien 2 mea.

All yal some dumb bitches.

Aggro4u2c 0

Lol at irony

alexm501 0

Why do people say "actual ****"? It's dumb. Like "the ****" instead of "what the ****".

Should of slapped her in the face with your meat as a counter attack.

Give her a mushroom stamp right on the cheek.

erkasaurusrexx 0

fragile egos, men?

If he had that much shrinkage there wasn't much to smack her with.

Husband used **** knock. Super effective!

All 3 inches

perdix 29

Seinfeld fans! You ought to slip some lobster into her eggs, that will make you even!

revenge George Castanza style

Mister_Triangle 21

At least she knows about shrinkage

better the pickle than the eggs

Punch her in her ******

So punching in the ****** is frowned upon but kicking is respected apparently.

DKjazz 20

Not everybody's into fisting. Understandable.

Uh, no. If you wanted a comparable experience, you'd flick her clit with your untrimmed fingernails.

Wow asshole much?

Flick her in the nips and yell shrinkage? Or perhaps make "echoed" noises at her ******?

TheDrifter 23

Flicking her nipples and yelling "saggage" would be more correct, but likely to get op in trouble.

I hope u got get back! Being flicked in that area is way too deep.