Love, Sex and Awkward: Let's get it on - FML

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Ashland

Spicy

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 94

Love Sex Awkward

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Same thing different taste

Shower sex time?

By mark - 31/12/2011 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 678

You deserved it 40 169

The good old days

By WOWreally - 25/09/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 022

You deserved it 12 103

By shortyybrooke - 24/08/2017 04:30

Today, my wife sat beside me on the ledge of the bathtub because she wanted to make out. I was on the toilet. Shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 267

You deserved it 412

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 124

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 504

You deserved it 67 395

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 994

You deserved it 6 792

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 259

You deserved it 3 168

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 472

You tried

By Anonymous - 24/08/2021 14:01

Spicy

Today, my wife finally agreed to try anal. Unfortunately, it was too hot in the apartment so I couldn't focus and I kept going soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 636

By FUCK GOD - 03/02/2013 23:04 - Argentina - Salta

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 102

You deserved it 4 847

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 1 October 2023 22:24

Ate shit? Your face went right into her butthole on the way down? Did you slip on your roommate's nail clippings?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 1 October 2023 22:24

Ate shit? Your face went right into her butthole on the way down? Did you slip on your roommate's nail clippings?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 699

You deserved it 2 694

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 610

You deserved it 5 838

The Top

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 237

You deserved it 5 881

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 077

You deserved it 37 260

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 571

You deserved it 7 189

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 478

You deserved it 1 624

Today, after 11 years together, including 8 years of engagement and 3.5 months of marriage, I found out he had sex with his ex-girlfriend on my birthday. He's now leaving me and our kids to be with her because she's his "soul mate". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 478

You deserved it 439

Today, I gathered the courage and wrote a love letter to put in the girl I like's school bag, at the end of classes. I felt anxious for a response. Her bag turned out to be her cousin's, and I became a joke in the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 289