By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 887
You deserved it 3 824

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Top comments

EmilieAutumn 7

Just make sure you never have sex around him.

haZzbin 0

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it


marzipanimal 15

I bet the neighbors love you.(: just kidding..

morganmorgan 0


I bet people will up vote your comment :) just kidding.

Naomimi_fml 6

I once read a book where someone is murdered and there was a parrot there and the parrot is able to imitate the sounds of the murder and reveal the murderer. Useful bird.

BarDownDaily 12


My first instinct was to 'like' this

xxmel 6

Your comment would've been fine. And then you added the little kidding disclaimer.

btnhdude 0

20- That sounds like a cool story, bro. It seriously does, whats the name of the book.

ChronicBluntz420 7

Banshees are annoying in Mass Effect 3. >:

My parrot does that too actually. Our smoke alarm needed batteries, and his favorite sound is a "beep".

29- I think that was the worst joke I have ever heard.

cyK0tek 0

I bet you people will soon stop giving 2 big sh*ts about thumb-count. Just kidding... :

Some people on FML don't understand sarcasm. Trust me, the disclaimer was necessary.

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This comment is simply.. Genius.

Actually 23 I think it was an extremely shitty comment.

lebronesque73091 12

I don't care for parrots too much.

I don't care for any birds, dirty flying bitches.

anthonydude 9

Yeah, like your comment.

IAdminIFlow 0

no it doesnt...

I'd hate to think what would happen if he overheard someone heaving sex...

I guess 3 is willing to take the parrot off OP's hand then

That must have been the FIRST time it happened to you.

haZzbin 0

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it

Are you aware of the story about the boy who cried 'wolf'?

Yes, many are, what's your point?

hippyhater3000 4

he was trying to say the bird would just keep going off then when a fire actually happened Op would ignore it, thinking it was the bird... unforetunately he didnt think it over before he posted

haZzbin 0

Didn't think that comment through before I posted it. Well, guess i'll just crawl back into my hovel *scoot scoot scoot*

Have the parrot listen to something more soothing for a couple hours and perhaps he'll mock that instead of the alarm sound.

They don't work like that.

SauceySarah 30

Sorry but parrots are really freaking annoying. Just saying..

I know your comment got downvoted but it's completely true. Even if the parrot learned to say a couple of phrases properly, try live in the same house as it for a week and see if you don't want to strangle it. Source: I once spent a week In a friends house with a pet parrot and it is the most annoying creature I have ever encountered.

My friend's parrot was an asshole, it kept taunting his cat by saying, "here kitty kitty kitty." The cat was pissed at it.

All parrots are assholes. Fact of life.

Gotta love those parrots! I'd want to snap that birds neck.

haZzbin 0

That's just freaking evil

EmilieAutumn 7

Just make sure you never have sex around him.

Teach him to sing song like the motto. That's useful.

nofearjenshere 12

Real nigga wassup.