382
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Comments

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

You're right #1. It is OP's fault. It is OP's fault that he gave his son up for his adoption. It is OP's fault that his son probably grew up in a better life with more possibilities and options than he could have provided. It is OP's fault his son probably has a better life because OP was able to look at, and understand, his own situation, and realize it was not good enough to raise a child in. I blame you OP, for helping your son when you realized what was best for him.

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

196, you cite that some children who are adopted are abused, more often than not children who are adopted are not abused because the parents have tried so desperately to have children unsuccessfully. People tens to treat the things that were hard to attain better, children included. Yes, some monsters are able to adopt and treat the child improperly, however, THOUSANDS of children who live with their birth parents who are sexually molested and physically abused.

Reply

It's no their fault. If they couldn't support the child they did the best they could do. Don't judge before you understand the whole story.

Reply

what, die horribly and leave your kid with crappy people. then have him fight the guy who killed you even though hes the worst killer ever?

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

I just noticed that when saying that I can articulate myself, I left off the f in "fact". Can I blame that on my smartphone's autocorrect or do I have to wallow in shame for that, too?

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Oh...i see my mistake....sorry for blowing up and i take what i said in previous comments back....god i feel stupid =3= I apologize. Forgive me.

Reply

disagree. hes lived his life without his real parent just for the parent to walk back in?? no. just no.

Reply

No, that's not true, he could have done it for the kid. To help him, to make sure the son could get everything he deserves and more.

Reply

It sickens me to see people judge so quick without actually knowing the circumstances. As stated, he probably had to and it IS better than an abortion from an accident or not being to bring up the baby due to things like no money etc. Furthermore, I understand the whole concept of it being his fault that he hadn't called his son or not but have you guys thought that it also might not have been possible? OP might not have been able to have any contact. You guys all have great points nonetheless..

Reply

Me too. Without her I wouldn't be like I am today. I would be living in the worst living conditions in brazil.

Reply

Well i would be sad to have been ditched by my family, especially without knowing why, simply because id rather live in poverty than without my birth mom but id genuingly appreciate the hardship she went through to give me the best life she thought :3 it can go both ways, maybe OPs mom was young or maybe she didnt believe in abortions, either way, im sure your parents were trying to do what they thought was best weither you agree or not :)

Reply

For having a reason to put him for adoption? Like maybe... Not enough money to take care of him, and wanted his son to have a good life?!?!

Reply

For having a reason to put him for adoption? Like maybe... Not enough money to take care of him, and wanted his son to have a good life?!?!

Reply

171- it could have been a closed adoption if that's what the adoptive parents chose so the biological parents wouldn't be able to contact them until after they turn 18. It would also mean that neither of them would have any contact information about each other and in some cases it can take years to track down a person. So they may not have been able to or allowed to contact them any sooner

Reply

35: Abortion isn't always bad. Yes, it isn't entirely good, but if I got pregnant at 16 I wouldn't want the mental trauma of going through a teenage pregnancy and ruining my life at a young age. Also, in some cases where carrying the baby is harmful to the mother's health, abortion is okay there. You may also have to think that maybe they can't afford to carry the baby and keep both the mother and child healthy. Yes, some people have abortions when they can easily give the child a good life and

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

39- 1. I'm pretty sure the more time you leave the child you put up for adoption to stir in hatred of you, well... The more he hates you! 2. Makung a. impact? Seems legit

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

2- Next thing you know OP's son will find out he has a long lost evil twin, and someone will somehow slip into a coma.

Reply

As long as there is no time travel to find out his evil twin brother is his son. But what a twist that would be.

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Because of the possible circumstances, (teen pregnancy, unplanned career, prematurity) OP may have a lot of good reasons as to why he put the child for adoption. It may have benefitted the son much more at the moment.

Reply

What if both the parents were only in school? Or they were both drug addicts? Or for some other reason could not support a kid? We don't know the circumstances that OP had to give up the child.

Reply

Sometimes putting them up for adoption IS because they care. Maybe OP realized they couldn't give him a quality life and would be better cared for by a couple that wants to have a child to love but physically can't. It can be an agonizing and heartbreaking decision for a parent to decide to give their child up for adoption. Nobody knows what OP went through when that decision was made but OP. So don't judge others.

Reply

40, It's a quality of life thing for me. If I was pregnant with a child I knew I wouldn't be able to care for, I would definitely put it up for adoption BECAUSE I love it and know it deserves the best life possible even if I'm not going to be there. EDIT: 57 said it better.

Reply

79- it's not always easy to track down a child you've put up for adoption and building up the courage to meet them has to be even harder.

Reply

There are a couple kinds - one is a closed adoption where no info is disclosed. The other is an open adoption where everything is told to the biological parents.

Reply

Even though there are a bunch of valid reasons posted above, if the OP wanted to have a relationship with his kid he should've tried when he gave him up for adoption. Finding him and trying to start something when the guy is over 20 isn't fair

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

i was adopted because my birth parents were on Welfare and couldnt provide for me. i have had such a good life compared to my half sister who was dirt poor and never traveled anywhere.. i live in California, ive traveled the world, money was never a big issue and i am super happy! i am glad i was adopted it has nothing to do with the fact they didnt want me, they wanted me to have a better life than they could give me... and they did :)

Reply

Also with this being posted by the father, he may not have had a say in the adoption, here in Canada at least, if the mother chooses adoption the father has to meet the qualifications as an adoptive parent. The only time he gets parental rights is if child welfare is about to take the child and the mother willingly surrenders the child to him.

Reply

You have no idea what you are talking about. Something tells me that you have been told to stop running your mouth, and shut up before. This would be another one of those times where you should be quiet.

Reply

Can an individual who put a child up for adoption ask to see that child decades down the line in the US. In the UK once the child is adopted the parent does not have a right to trace the child.

Reply

um actually, I'm adopted. my mother was a pregnant teen and adopted me out to an American family. granted, I don't particularly like America, but there's no way she would have known that then. she cared about me enough to let another family raise me and try to give me everything. that's rude to say parents who give children away don't care. some definitely do. I probably wouldn't have grown up to be an engineer if I had stayed in that life, and I really appreciate her giving me the chance to be.

Reply

They dont always give the info. There are different circumstances for different agencies. Sometimes the info in the birth parents is restricted, sometimes the info on the child is restricted, sometimes it's all in the open, it all really depends and varies in different situations.

Reply

Actually it depends if it's open yes you are allowed to search for them or they you if they wished but id is closed you are not allowed to search for them or them search you.

Reply

Why does this guy deserve this? No one knows the kind of situation he was in at the time of the adoption. He wants to have a relationship with his son. That's respectable.

Reply

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

166- apparently my tone mocking the outdated views of the manly macho man as well as my sarcasm did not show through, I thought for sure no one would take the upper half of what I said seriously, although tbh the constant appearance of bro and other idiotic social followings/behaviors are quite tiring I apologize for not being enough of a sarcastic douche to match the fame of boners or other unmentionables I will retire now (ps that means I'm good with the hugs and all)

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Well said shroomsonacid. OPs biological mother probably was left without a choice. Maybe she was a teenager whose parents didn't give her the option. Either way a punch in the face was not necessary. I hope your son can get past his pain and give you a chance at being a part of his life.

i feel bad im sorry. u had ur reason to give him up. he doesnt understand that mayb u were poor or werent a good person at the time. he should b greatful that u didnt keep him in those conditions. he should b happy u came bac

Loading data…