Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
fucentarmal 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sue the douchebag. every a-hole and their step-brother twice removed is a "mma" fighter. these douches should die rotting in their own urine..fight the good fight.
curryndricegirll 0
he just broke his nose, which even a girly teenager could have done. OP needs to suck it up and not be a douchebag to others. YDI
XOfiestypixie 0
#11 do you even KNOW what MMA is? Sure Everyone is crazy about it since the UFC became commercialized, but it's a LOT harder to be a fighter than everyone seems to think it is. You don't just take a few lessons and declare yourself an experienced fighter, it takes years of dedication. My proof: I took jui-jitsu (the martial art that usually does the best in UFC) for nearly 12 years (stopped because of university), got my black belt a couple years ago, entered into numerous competitions, met and participated in seminars by one of the Gracie brothers (Brazilian jui-jitsu, and UFC champion back before it became this popular), and still wouldn't consider myself MMA material (I realize I'm a female, and there's nothing really comparable to the UFC for woman as far as I'm aware).
Intoxicunt 6
Yay, a kickass female! Anyway, have you considered WCL? It's not really that similar to UFC, but there are probably as many women doing it as men.
Matty_No9 0
hellzes to the yeahzes..nothin hotter.:P
KillU2009 0
there is an older group 70 and a younger group 18-35 (generly) who have seen serious combat and they can and will kill you. judge on.
ChrisLF82 0
Why would liking UFC have anything to do with being a douche bag? The hat is understandable, but YDI for being a dumbass.
shakemup 0
Talk shit, get hit.
Jaywin 3
Bitches get stitches
drimpossible 0
Good one.
Sleepwalker418 0
Snitches get snitches? Do you possibly mean Snitches get stitches? If you're going to correct someone and be an asshole at the same time, at least spell the word correctly.
geetface 0
And Einstein, since you seem to be so ****** brilliant, the phrase is actually "snitches are bitches and bitches get stitches" so go eat a dick. You're probably wearing an affliction or tapout shirt right now aren't you? GO EAT A ******* DICK
Plumppotato 3
poor fella's bout to get his dick bitten off...then chewed...swallowed...and successfully eaten.
FlankerWV 0
We can't call it successful yet. He may choke on said dick and have to cough it back up.
mlipro 0
Actually according to the OP it was 'a affliction'... I don't blame the OP for ripping on him though, who the **** wears a bedazzled hat?
ayashe 2
It doesn't matter if you called him that, it's still illegal for him to hit you and break your nose. You should have called the police.
DasHaas 9
"my friend and I were making fun of this guy" Yeah, you deserved it :)
Helldozer 0
What's wrong with the UFC? What's wrong with MMA? One of the most incredible sports in the world, and you call the guy wearing the Affliction shirt a douche bag? YDI for being a stupid bitch. I hope more MMA fighters kick your dumb ass in the near future.
Simsim_fml 0
YDI moron
Helldozer 0
I don't get it, you would make fun of the guy just because he's wearing MMA shirts and in fact is supporting the sport? If that's the case, then everyone with baseball shirts, basketball, football, hockey, and any other sport in existence should just set all of their sport clothes on fire, because they're all a bunch of wannabe athletes right?
irishdubr 0
YDI for running ur mouth when u can't fight
acd23 0
@94-- I doubt irishdubr means that if you can't fight you can't talk at all, but it's stupid to make fun of someone loud enough so they can hear it, and then whine about how his life is an FML now. If he can't stand his ground when the person he's making fun gets mad, then he should either 1- stop making fun of people or 2- make fun of people quietly so they won't find out. And the people who are saying YDI for making fun of people? Please. As if anyone on this site hasn't made fun or someone at least once in their life. (if you can honestly say you haven't, I congratulate you)
abylaunch 10
So you made fun of someone because of how he was dressed? You sound like a 13 year old girl! and UFC is amazing, you probably just don't like it because you obviously don't know how to fight like a real man.
curryndricegirll 0
wouldn't it have made the FML that much funnier if he called the guy a **** rather than a douche?