Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
super_fantastic 0
For ***** sake Fettkidd, try not to type like such an idiot. You had better be good at fighting because you are obviously to stupid to accomplish any other simple task.....
abrod01 0
God Bless You gentlemen. He is deffinitely a douchebag. Thank you and God bless, Andrew B.
abylaunch 10
people who wear mma clothes are trying to look tough? so if you were a football jersey you are trying to look like a foot ball player? also I own UFC clothes and they're not expensive if you know how to shop you can get lots of good clothes for cheap. Also what's with all this ragging on white people? did you know statisticly speaking racist people have lower than average IQs.
Bretthew7 0
I am raceist and i think your insolting me fore sayeing such hurtfull things. I cunsider myself a verie inteligent indivijool. Shayme on yew.
FoundManyLemons 0
Just because it's true doesn't mean it merits mention. YDI.
El_mariachi 0
well u were right about the guy being a douche afterall
Andyangels27 0
what's wrong with ufc. a lot of people like ufc incluing non muscle shirt wearers and non douches
hbhman 0
Obviously, you deserved it, but that guy does sound like a douche.
djm4791 0
why do a lot of people think all MMA fighters are douches look at randy couture. He's like the most humble person and rich franklin. Not all people wearing affliction or tapout are douches. I wear tapout and i thought i was kinda nice idk lol. I like watching the ufc to its the fastest rising sport in america. idk i like ufc though lol.
roflsauce 0
YDI loser. Grow some balls. UFC is great, you probably play Mario in your room by yourself.
Paige_Nicole10 0
well i assume since you dont like ufc your a 'douche bag'