Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
irocman88 0
You all are douchebags for jumpin on this guy. Shit, I have a few affliction shirts and even my buddies mess with me but I can take it. On the other hand, there are still guys who wear the shit way too tight and I joke about with my friends. If somone can't take a comment about their clothes they probably aren't an actual fighter. Just because someone trains MMA does not mean that he/she has the discipline to fight. And anyone who is skilled enough to actually fight would most likely have enough confidence in themselves to not just haul off and hit someone.
CFR 0
ROFL
Mulada 0
The real douchebags are the ones who mock others for how they dress ;)
DCuz 0
The real joke is someone actually wearing Affliction. Thank god they went under!
mikethehero 0
actually only the fighting org went under. they still make clothes
MoonTiger 4
And you sir, pretty much deserve this for being a judgemtal idiot
dudemitch 0
anyone who wears affliction, ed hardy, tapout, shops at buckle, etc is automatically a douchebag. anybody who trains MMA but calls themselves "a UFC fighter"..also a douchebag. Nothing wrong with training MMA, but saying you are a "UFC fighter" is like playing basketball at the gym and saying you're on the lakers. dude was a douche, sorry you got hit. FYL.
Slitthroat 0
He probably was a douche, but anyway this story reeks of falsehood. MMA fighters have to register their hands as deadly weapons so if they ever attack someone outside the ring they go to jail and have their license revoked.
Lautaro 0
Whaaaaat? Where the **** did you hear that?
SimpleSimon 0
You silly dumbass! How could that possibly be true? 'You are found guilty, your licence is hereby revoked. Your hands will be confiscated and sold in a Police auction'
drimpossible 0
Myth... been around since the 1950s, before MMA.
robotronicslave 0
This story is probably fake, but the point is valid. If you wear Ed Hardy, you are a douche bag. Liking UFC just adds to the douche bag stereotype. Also, if you act like a tough asshat on the net, not only are you an automatic douche bag, but you are probably a neckless waste of oxygen.
aaaaa12345_fml 0
wow, what a douchebag. yeah, lets pay like $50 for a tee shirt with little sparkles on it. its made by a cool fighting type brand. i fight people for the most retarded reasons, yeah
robotronicslave 0
That is a total myth, no one under any circumstances is registering parts of thier bodies as weapons. Look it up.