Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
Morokea 0
I love how "adults" judge others based on what brand they wear, it's awesome!
CherryDee 0
Lmfao, bitch got owned :P
girlie_in_green 0
I am going to be judgmental for a moment. Any guy that wears rhinestones on his hat is not a real man. I don't care if he can punch like one.
girlie_in_green 0
Dude, you're gay if you like rhinestones on your hat. They're for little girls and arts and crafts.
girlnamedkris 0
I read this up until "I were" and clicked YDI. What the **** is wrong with you
acd23 0
Actually, if your problem is the grammer, it shouldn't be. The OP didn't say "I were" he said "My friend and I were" which is basically the same thing as saying "WE were", it's just clarifying who was included in the "we." You really should've caught on to the "a Affliction" shirt part, since you're mentioning the grammar. Save your grammar-related YDI's for the real grammar problems.
soxwin04and05 0
I admire your courage. Douche bags like that deserve to be put in their place, even if someone's nose has to be broken. OP is a true hero in my eyes. Wear that battle scar with pride, you FYL for the good of all humanity. Thank You
JukeboxBunny 0
Is pimpin88 a troll? At first I thought he was a serious user, but then I noticed that he manages to say the dumbest, douchiest shit on almost every FML.
mkivsuptt 0
YDI for being a pussy and getting your ass kicked.
literalmanchild 0
the only people who wear affliction, tapout, ed hardy etc. are either rich, white, tough guy wannabe douchebags or muscley, roided up thicknecks who lactate hgh. why else would you pay a shitton of money to dress like a child unless it was to show off how masculine you are?
lovesucksxxx 0
Haha dumbass. Don't **** with people better than you.