Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML
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By
slapper23
| 0
Should have charged her for the condom!
Reply
HahaYDI
| 0
Should have charged her for the medical bill AND the condom
Reply
Pink_ElePhant88
| 0
And get a new roommate that isn't a bitch that steals your condoms
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ryguy997
| 0
you can sue for assault. yay a fellow Canadian. FUCK THE USA!!!
Reply
bballer8
| 1
FUCK CANADA
Reply
TheOptimist
| 0
You can't fuck countries.
Reply
roooose
| 6
fuck ur mom. i really cant hear u over hear with all my health benefits.
Reply
TardxxxCake
| 4
112 I luv you xD <3
Reply
Trevormg1
| 4
Nigga how is you gonna borrow a condom nigga is you gonna give it back
Reply
jroxursox1
| 10
Yeah they gave us Justin Bieber.
Reply
wolfgold2
| 20
Justin Bieber was born in Canada.
However, the person we see today was birthed by America.
However, the person we see today was birthed by America.
By
musicboy997
| 0
tht suck
first losers
first losers
Reply
imtheman920
| 0
1st, really??? Its looks like you were second.
OP: You didn't start yelling to let her know you were there?
OP: You didn't start yelling to let her know you were there?
Reply
catriona_cd
| 0
you fail
your father should have cum in the toilet, not your mother :P
your father should have cum in the toilet, not your mother :P
Reply
shinshoku13
| 19
^wtf that makes no sense! Women dont cum in toilets... And as for "first" your second idiot and instead of trying to inform the people who can clearly see what number you are, you should inform yourself "first"
Reply
SarahLove45
| 6
He was saying the father should have came in the toilet instead of in the mother. It was poor wording.
By
BrEnNo1023
| 5
self-obsessed, dysfunctional, heartless people.
fuck her (not literally) kick her out or some shit. don't sit there and take that. DONT.
fuck her (not literally) kick her out or some shit. don't sit there and take that. DONT.
By
curryndricegirll
| 0
sounds like she wasn't "overzealous", sounds like she was just drunk...and if it makes you feel any better, they probably broke the condom and your roommate will probably either be pregnant or have herpes within a month
By
pinksaint
| 0
sounds drunk
www.pinksaint.com
www.pinksaint.com
By
unfortunate_13
| 5
I'm sorry, she's a selfish whore
Reply
22jrdn55
| 15
u mean they shuld've had a threesome?
By
Oncoming_Storm
| 0
She "borrowed" a condom, I hope she didn't return it when she'd finished.
Reply
ashleeee
| 0
lmfaooooooooooooooooooooooo thats funnny !
OP tell your roomates payback is a female dog !
OP tell your roomates payback is a female dog !
By
stfuminjakid
| 0
You should make her pay for your medical bills. That's ridiculous
Reply
mmeow
| 0
she lives in Canada. We don't have medical bills.
Reply
Armin_fml
| 0
hehe.. social security.. I love it :)
Reply
mylifeblows3232
| 3
you pay high taxes, horrible doctors, long waits, and selective surgeries. yay socialism!!
By
donkey_hang_down
| 2
Sounds like your roommate has some broken ribs as well. Or maybe just a hole in her uterus...
By
veghead95
| 6
Ouch... I agree you should make her pay.
fuck her (not literally) kick her out or some shit. don't sit there and take that. DONT.