Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
narek996 0
moron
LocoChaz006 0
You definitely deserve it. #18, #19 and #21 are spot on. I'm a fan and practitioner of those arts and you definitely deserve more for being judgemental. There are a few sports I'm not particularly fond of but I just keep those opinions to myself. Probably contributing to the reason I've never had a broken nose! Besides, maybe if you learned how to defend yourself by training any arts then you'd have a more positive view of MMA!
shuzuko 2
YFDI for ragging on UFC. I'd kick your ass, too, OP; learn to keep your idiot mouth shut. /female mma fighter here
blueknight1st 26
And I'm a pro football player. I can make stuff up also.
tonyDlolli 0
I am actually Barack Obama
curryndricegirll 0
ahahaha! 33, win
Intoxicunt 6
Jeez, you guys, she said she was an MMA fighter, not that she's world famous or even professional. What, you think it's that unlikely that she has taken mixed martial arts classes? The world is bigger than you think.
blueknight1st 26
You are gonna sue the douchebag, right?
F00tball_Playa 0
You ****** deserved it u piece of shit..... Affliction is an awesome brand of clothing. What da **** do u wear???? American Eagle?aeropostle?abercrombie and fitch?? Are u some gay ******??
popemichael 9
YDI. Next time you make fun of someone who can beat your ass, do it quietly.
triplethreat13 0
MMA fighters are freakishly huge (most of the time). if he was capable of breaking your nose, you would have noticed when you saw him, and you wouldn't have messed with him.
tonyDlolli 0
Not rly. There are weight classes just like wrestling. he could be 155 pounds and still be a great fighter
Lucky_strike_fml 0
ydi. :)
xHaniffax 0
YDI for 1. Judging someone on the way they dress because that actually doesn't depict their personality 2. "A Affliction" Go back to school dumbass! it's *An* Affliction. Words that begin with a vowel must be followed by "an".
Go_Boston 0
Actually since the "an" comes before it, it's preceded by, not followed by.
xHaniffax 0
*preceded by I can take correction.
koatc09 0
Good for him I would have punched your ass to learn to keep your mouth shut