Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
dcstream 0
So you judged someone, and judging by the guy's reaction, out loud. You tried to generalize and embarrass him and you were put into place. Why is everybody crying that he should sue him? Sounds like he just learned a lesson most people learn in elementary school.
mo_the_owl 0
i would have mocked him, too. what a tool.
wexou3 3
YDI, dont mess with the UFC son ! you respect the UFC !
ashleeee 0
what the ?!?1 how sterotypical of you ! like go somewhere.
pinkbullethippy 0
All the men around here dress like that... Even my hubby sometimes.. He's not a douche bag. Its prolly cause I live in a Marine Corps town, married to a Marine and they sell Affliction shirts on base for cheaper then on town. I don't think they look like assholes or anything, I like them they look nice. You wouldn't want him judging you, why judge him? YDI.
AshleyRose784 0
ha, ydi. even though that guy was dressed like a total tool you don't say anything within earshot. lesson learned
noluck84 0
i think its rediculous that most of the people commenting are giving you shit for being judgemental, everyones judgemental, if you say your not, your full of shit. most people that dress like that are total idiots and you should have sued his ******* hair off for hitting you. if that gets to him, hes not gonna make it far in the mma world.
kukopia 0
Nice attempt at transferrence (look it up), but ya still fail. Some of us have bigger, more active brains.
moonshineboy 0
fake...
sdr_fml 0
You caring what people wear is fail.
EvilTwin 0
Hmm, sad to see that the majority here thinks that having your nose broken is a fitting punishment for calling someone a douchebag... Violence isn't ok, and a broken nose hurts a lot and can cause lots of problems in the future, like trouble breathing through the nose etc. Usually it's fairly easy to fix, but there can be complications. You are all violent douchebags for clicking YDI, are you going to break my nose now too?
SimpleSimon 0
Yes, now keep still...
ashleeee 0
lmfaooo bedazzled ?!? was it really bedazzled ?!?! ahahahaha and he didnt have to punch you just because of what you said people do have a right to their own opinions
drimpossible 0
Well, yes but it wasn't exactly like they were NY Times Op-Ed writers commenting on the need for increased National Parks spending. They were just punk kids critiquing his clothes and being obnoxious for their own amusement. What did they expect would happen? They would get to act like jerks with impunity?
mopho 0
What 79 said. I don't condone violence, but this kid was just asking for it.