Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
koatc09 0
Good for him I would have punched your ass to learn to keep your mouth shut
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
assssholeeee
djb23 0
I don't know if you're joking or not but if you're serious then you're bar none the single biggest ******/douche I've seen on here. Who the **** you think you are, talking like that? You're probably just some pussy ass white kid who walks around in those 80 dollar Ed Hardy shirts that his rich parents buy him, not realizing that people are usually laughing at you when you walk by. Real fighters don't talk tough guy shit on the internet, my friend.
deaditegirl 0
YDI for being a douchebag. Also for saying "a Affliction."
bds0688 0
Do, do I see people telling him not to judge him, when that's all fml commentators do? Incredible. And you were right about the cockbag. Anyone who hits someone over being made fun of in a bar probably still sucks their thumb before they go to bed, sad that their roided testes keep their dick from getting hard and staying hard anymore. Oh, and the abuse and lack of love from their father, and their total lack of individuality, brains, creativity, or as exampled by the OP, social skills and maturity.
curryndricegirll 0
anyone that bitches about a little broken nose after trash talking someone is probably a doucebag
rosemary_fml 5
hmmmm. sounds like you are a person of low intelligence to be speaking like that within hearing range. regardless of him probably still sucking his thumb before he goes to bed, you probably cry yourself to sleep at night because of your insecurities and self-hatred; thus your need to bully.
em2009 0
SUE HIM and make some money off of this! This could be a great oppritunity for you! As for his clothes, affliction is just OK but Ed Hardy was out of style so fast that now it's a huge joke. People really only wore Ed Hardy for one season last year and now you see old soccer moms wearing it because they don't have real tattoos so that is their pussy way to rebel. I bet his clothes were super tacky, but whisper next time. Or better yet buy your own bar with all the money you will win in court!
mikethehero 0
this is a complete lie. an mma fighter would lose his license if he hit anyone outside of a cage nice try tho
roflcopterzzz 0
MMA fighters are douchebags. End of story.
quivx 7
Sooooo, basically your assumption was right and he proved it by punching you in the face. FYL.