MikeNick
United States
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Tokyo, Japan
How? What?
Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
Display
Paris, France
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
Eleanor
Leeds, United Kingdom
Slice of life
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Anonymous
Colorado Springs, United States
Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML
Anonymous
Carly Rae Jepsen
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Thwack
Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, all while sending blood down my horn. FML
anonymous
Ballwin, United States
Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
DroppedTheSoap
Brisbane, Australia
Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML
Top comments
Jays7 10
That's what you get for playing the Trumpet. Nah I joke, FYL indeed
AmberL 0
Ouch! I'm trying to picture this happening, and when I do, I see droopy man boobs getting in the way.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (205)
matt120784 0
What? No jokes about being horn-y?
misterpanda 2
I wanna make an American Pie joke SO bad :x
hockeyplayer2693 0
One time at band camp. There made it for you
AlexRen 21
How big are your nipples???
lstrawberrycake 12
Okay I play the trumpet But how the heck do you close it on your nipple?!
Cookiegirl222 0
Trumpet players! Were awesome
melons 44
Why aren't they awesome anymore?
nu1alex 0
69 meant "we're", not "were". Lol
lollipop77_fml 6
Another candidate for America's Got Talent...
linkinpark98 24
Gettin' horny with that trumpet, weren't you? God, the the things people use for sex these days.... ._.
Feklfekl2222 32
I'm trying to think of a way to shoehorn a joke about blowing your own trumpet but it doesn't seem to be happening.
CabbageTrees 13
Maybe this guy just has man boobs...?
Karoleer 14
what the f...? how is that even possible?!
TheJester12 15
Horny band kids and their erect nipples, always causing trouble. I C sharp objects as a danger to your mammary health health, you'd best avoid them as not to get majorly F'd up .
Margemander 4
Should have said "always causing treble." Missed opportunity there.