MikeNick
United States
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Tokyo, Japan
How? What?
Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML
Display
Paris, France
Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML
Eleanor
Leeds, United Kingdom
Slice of life
Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
Anonymous
Colorado Springs, United States
Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML
Anonymous
Carly Rae Jepsen
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Thwack
Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, all while sending blood down my horn. FML
anonymous
Ballwin, United States
Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML
Luna
Carmel, United States
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
DroppedTheSoap
Brisbane, Australia
Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML
Top comments
Jays7 10
That's what you get for playing the Trumpet. Nah I joke, FYL indeed
AmberL 0
Ouch! I'm trying to picture this happening, and when I do, I see droopy man boobs getting in the way.
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Comments (205)
wowguy129 0
It's better then getting a trumpet droped on your package as a joke to wake you
bluechevy101 0
Haha you play a trumpet
matt187 4
Trumpet love oh how I miss my band days especially band camp
lstrawberrycake 12
Well at least your not a girl because if you were that would have stopped breast development
hawaiian_girl23 0
And we wouldn't want that now would we >;D
silverdaraco 1
Lmao
doonerz 0
how did you............ nevermind.
cleio81 5
Oddly enough, I've done that too. >.
Xotik174 6
you've got some long-ass nipples.
cwalmye 9
At least you don't play a low brass instrument!
zamdrivertank21 0
Saggy boobs are a bitch.