Miscellaneous: Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my...

By MikeNick - 17/12/2011 07:59 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 701

You deserved it 9 795

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Same thing different taste

How? What?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 14:43 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 5 191

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 126

You deserved it 7 227

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 888

You deserved it 626

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 16:45 - United States

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 32 359

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 06:29 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 090

You deserved it 10 267

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 690

You deserved it 4 159

By anonymous - 04/08/2015 20:56 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 629

You deserved it 2 053

By Luna - 22/07/2012 02:30 - United States - Carmel

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 3 530

By DroppedTheSoap - 26/04/2019 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while trying to sexily wash my man in the shower, I dropped the body wash bottle. The pump grazed my nipple, making it bleed. As if that didn't kill the mood, I now have a Star Wars bandaid on my boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 324

By Bigpoppa0507 - 31/08/2011 14:02 - Canada

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 14 643

Jays7 10

Saturday 17 December 2011 12:10

That's what you get for playing the Trumpet. Nah I joke, FYL indeed

AmberL 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 12:17

Ouch! I'm trying to picture this happening, and when I do, I see droopy man boobs getting in the way.

Comments

guitarhitman18 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 1:01

kinky

ALLDAY88 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 1:12

Who needs a nipple.

Torji 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 2:58

I dont understand these comments, he didnt have to be naked and probably wasnt, a case can still clamp through a shirt

NissanDriftKing 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 3:01

Your a dude... Get over it

NissanDriftKing 4

Sunday 18 December 2011 3:01

Your a dude... GET OVER IT

junabrown 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 4:34

Band camp?

jackie232 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:17

omg were you shirtless

dvldoc 1

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:27

This one time in band camp, we all would slam each others nipples in our music cases as a form of 4-play....

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:55

Man, you must have some big nipples..lol

Poser1337 5

Sunday 18 December 2011 5:55

I believe the real question is, "Got milk?".

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Family Relatable Racism Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Neighbours Cops Parents Scary Stressed out

The Top

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 552

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, after following the directions and drinking a gallon of what can only be described as an industrial strength laxative for a scheduled colonoscopy. I shit my brains out for nearly 12 hours. The hospital then called and canceled my procedure an hour before my arrival time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 107

Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 855

You deserved it 41 549

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 3 666

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 963

You deserved it 6 130

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 123

You deserved it 3 469

Today, nearly six months later, my incompetent, lazy coworker still refuses to believe I didn't screw my way to the promotion both of us were competing for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 701

You deserved it 1 455

Same thing different taste

How? What?

Slice of life

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