By Anonymous - 13/07/2012 23:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 980
You deserved it 7 875

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Flyersfan54 4

It sucks when you get it done later in life.


Flyersfan54 4

It sucks when you get it done later in life.

stevenJB 25

This is when being amazing at hacky sack comes in handy! :D

Wait, OP can't bend down because it hurts for his dick to touch his leg, yet he can violently throw his leg upward to kick something toward him? SEEMS LEGIT.

19 - Are you a transvestite or something then?

I'm sure 19 was joking. If not then idk what she's thinking...

Why doesn't OP just wear something else, rather than jeans?

He's in pain from the pressure of his jeans.. Why is the solution not more obvious to everybody? Clearly he should go without pants for a little while. :D

you are so wrong it makes me want to blow my brains out. a transvestite is someone who changes their sex. in anyway.

60: Should we ask you the same? 88: You're so wrong that it makes me hope someone slaps you with a pre-op transsexual's penis until you stop being stupid.

Wouldn't it be a Hermaphrodite, since that means they are born with both sex organs?

*sigh* I actually did primarily mean transvestite. We can only see her face, so who's to say she's not a guy with makeup on and naturally feminine features? But I did add the "or something" in reference to transsexuals either post or pre-op and I suppose even hermaphrodites ;) so really there was nothing wrong with my comment.

88- You don't know what you are talking about. 89 is right. Believe me, I'm a drag performer. I would know.

Why doesn't op just wear one of those scottish kilts?

Daftendirekt1 0

55 - You realize females can be circumcised too? They get their ******** cut off. I know this thanks to good ol' literature and it's wonderful use of extended metaphors. Anyways it's only a certain religion that does it I think.

I was kidding guys but apparently no one understood :( I'm not a transvestite:/

She could be transgender as well... Can't rule out that option

Shadowvoid 33

Just take off your pants, then there's no pressure

How old are you? If Its that late, why do it at all?

There are a few medical reasons why a man might get their foreskin removed. I doubt it would be for aesthetics.

7: What are those reasons? I'm not chiding you. I am honestly curious.

I don't know them all, one (I'm not speaking in technical terms here) is if the foreskin is too tight and it becomes quite painful and inflamed.

Why is a girl telling a guy why he would get circumcised

Another reason is for sanitary purposes if you don't pull it all the way back it's very unsanitary

31-I know someone who found mush and dead ants in his foreskin after he pulled it all the way back.

Reasons; 1: It is easier to manage(clean keep fresh). 2: more sexually appealing for a women. 3: conversion in religion. 4: medical reasons, such as; penile cancer, STD's like gentle warts and mentioned swelling of the penis head.

Llamacod 11

its not sexually more appealing to women. the majority of the world goes uncircumcised. its not more cleanly, that myth has been debunked long ago. I also heard that urban legend about the dead ants, but its only a legend

56 - I don't think you can claim that first one without doing a poll of sorts ;)

You can't tell if it's circumcised when it's erect, so most women would not be able to tell the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis.

There is a well documented connection between being circumcised and decreased STD and cancer rates for both the man and his partner. But that wouldn't be a general increased cleanliness would it.

71- not everyones foreskin pulls back when it gets hard, the only way mine goes back is streching while it's soft, if it gets hard while pulled back it becomes very painful.

56- a majority of the women I know agree that anteaters aren't very attractive. In fact, they can be down right creepy.

JuniorWaffles 0

Well now we know that you don't have it circumcised. TMI

elletex 8

Wasn't there a FML awhile back about a guy who found a dead bug under his foreskin? *shudder*

Matty1188 6

43 - It's not more sexually appealing to all women. But kudos on 'gentle warts'. Autocorrect, I hope.

#56 is right, it's not truly more sexually appealing to women, this is mostly a cultural thing. In cultures where circumcision is the norm, it is more appealing because it seems normal and cleaner, in cultures where it isn't the norm, it can seem a bit unusual or gross, though I'd assume most women would be indifferent. At least, in my country, a lot of women are either repulsed by a circumcized penis at first or indifferent because they know the medical reasons which could have lead to that. Circumcision does reduce the risks of getting STDs but doesn't protect the man from all of them. Firstly, genital warps are caused by a virus which can remain dormant, therefore one can carry the virus without having genital warps (and no, genital warps aren't those little normal things known as pearly penile papules), then there is herpes which has nothing to do with circumcision. The best way to avoid most STDs is still to wear a condom and have blood tests to check everything before your decide not to use them anymore. Also, most male learn how to clean their foreskins in countries where circumcision isn't the norm, therefore there are no real sanitary reasons to cut the foreskin. However, sometimes the foreskin doesn't retract and causes real pain for the man, especially during sex and erection. Sometimes, it can also prevents a man from getting an ******, in those cases, circumcision is often the only solution. However, I do not understand this cultural need to circumcise young boy before they are even able to decide on their own, most wouldn't have any problems with their foreskins anyway. For some reasons, it is more predominant in the US than in most Europen countries and yet, most Europen countries aren't more infected by STDs than the US, which leads you to wonder a bit more about the other less radical way to protect yourself and your partner from getting a STD. Also, if that interest anyone, women also have a foreskin (the ******** hood) and some of them actually need to get it removed because it causes pain as well. It is a rare condition and in most cases, nobody cares about it unless they have some aesthetic view of what a normal vulva should look like. It is not entirely abnormal for male or females not to be able to keep it retracted completely the foreskin during sex as long as it doesn't hurt and they can clean it. In most cases, the sex is less dirty than the mouth, whether you have a foreskin or not.

71- Believe me, the foreskin does not always pull back because of an erection. There is still an obvious area of extra skin even while erect in a lot of cases.

hurtandabused 7

Actually the foreskin is more fighting against the std is what the doctor told my sister

I love how if people still don't agree with you, even if your argument is perfectly valid, they still thumb you down. This user is actually correct, and yet he has negative fifty plus thumbs. Just shows you how much people crave what they want to hear.

the attractiveness is kinda like a girl having a nice bush. Its all a matter of preference. Though girls have it lucky and can switch back and forth. Most guys who are circumsized had it done close to birth.

43: genital, yes autocorrect. My phone and me don't use genital very often, :/

Its not more sexually appealing because: the extra foreskin skin acts like a natural lubricant. Making sex easier and more enjoyable. Usually if someone gets circumcised later in life, it's because it could have gotten inflamed or infected.

Spiral_thoughts: my boyfriend was thinking about it because (it's really rare but happens) where the foreskin ant go back enough to properly clean or maintain it. He has medication that is loosening it, but it is painful. Sucks, but he can't properly keep away bacteria and was constantly getting yeast infections. That's one thing that happens.. Don't know anything else, but thats one reason.

And 141: my boyfriend is black with a 9 inch dick, he still ha skin. It doesn't depend on your dick size, it depends on how flexible your foreskin is. Plus I'm sure you'd know about small dicks, either you're into them or you have one. If you are neither, then you don't really know about small dicks do you?

I totally disagree with that. I can tell and personally I prefer no foreskin

spekledworf 18

Definately not more appealing to all women... I like the uncut ;)

Why would you kick a pack of toothpicks in the first place?

Wear sweat pants, it'll take off some of the pressure. Especially if you get a surprise boner

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

I think the boner would hurt more than the pressure of the pants... Maybe I'm wrong though.

the_anti_hipster 7

Two solutions: leave 'em until your junk stops hurting or take off your jeans. I'd say you have the best excuse ever to walk around the house with a little breeze...ouch. *shudder*

22cute 17

Yes, wear a skirt or robe. Or wrap your **** in very soft cotton. *wince*

osm1989_fml 6

I didn't even know you could get it done when you're a non-baby. Why...?

Same I actually did not know people did that.. I guess maybe medical reasons? Sounds painful anyways

Llamacod 11

religious reasons, if op decided to become j*****

There are several reasons. One of the more common reasons my patients have is phimosis. Look it up.

I am more concerned with why you said "non-baby".

It can be medical (lower risks of getting certain STDs/STIs). Most cases I've heard it being done is cultural. Never learned why though. Another reason I've learned, is hygiene. Pretty sure you can figure out what happens with poor hygiene.

I'm glad it was done when I was a baby. No ones coming near my stuff with a knife or laser. Esshh. That'd be very painful.

the_anti_hipster 7

Yep, toothpicks get me hot every time. I think it's the wood.

I think the multicolor toothpicks are the best.

Llamacod 11

presuming you've had sex before, you're going to be really upset when you find out that sex from now on will be slightly less enjoyable

9: I'm learning so much on this FML. Could I get an explanation of why this happens? Reduced nerve connections or something?

Actually people who are circumcised last on average 3 minutes longer, so enjoy those extra minutes OP!

stevenJB 25

The foreskin on your penis has ALOT of nerve endings. And when that is cut off for the circumcision, it reduces the overall sensitivity. So, it basically won't feel as "good" anymore because you don't have as much stimulation as opposed to when you weren't circumcised. Hope this helps!

35: @_@ thanks mom for circumcising me . . . sigh. Thanks for the information.

If a guy with a foreskin wears a condom, he'd get much more sensation, pleasure, and overall proper movement in the act of sex as well. Guys who have had there's removed tend to complain that they feel nothing with the condom on, because they don't get the level of flexibility that they would if they had a foreskin.

The foreskin (while yes, it does have more nerve endings) acts as the primary lubricant and thrusting aid. Thrusts with a foreskin are smoother, easier, and more pleasurable. There are studies which have found that partners receiving sex from circumcised males more often felt unsatisfied... so it's not just the guy getting his penis mutilated that's suffering. Of course, this is all intentional, as ritual circumcision was developed for the purpose of stopping masturbation and sex for pleasure.

wubbazugg 5

Circumcision also aids in hygiene. Especially for lazy bastards.

My exact thought. As a grown woman I prefer an uncircumcised ****.

It was basically a cleanliness thing for ancient Jews. Imagine walking around in the desert having a bath once in a blue moon. Yeah, not clean at all. Coming from a non Jewish (as far as I know) family that has roots in Hebrew times further back, my family on my dad's side have practiced circumcision, but never after newborn stage. I'm married now with a baby son due in five weeks, and I'm not going to circumcise him as my husband thinks the reduced sexual feeling out-ways any benefits regarding cleanliness (just teach them to clean that area well after they turn five). I'm not against getting it done early, but later it just seems too cruel (unless there is a medical reason, of course).

And it's not cruel to permanently mutilate your child at a young age without them even having a choice in the matter?

It's also better for the girl when a man is uncircumcised. The foreskin acts as a natural lubricant. It makes sex easier and feel better.

May I ask why? I'm having a boy in sept. Me and my hubby are fighting over it. I want it done and my husband doesn't. My husband is circumcised.

perdix 29

In this case, I'd leave the toothpicks on the floor. I'd pay three bucks to avoid penis pain. I actually pay a lot more to get penis pain!