By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 948
You deserved it 27 357

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That sounds fapulous

I don't want to know how hard you were masturbating for your hand to chip your tooth


That sounds fapulous

xChaos 29

Sounded like a hard job for the dentist.

Dentist is probably stiff after that job.

Sounds a bit hairy to me

#22 you ruined it!

I agree. Either a weak tooth or really forceful masturbation.

ChristianH39 30

Guys these puns are getting out of hand

Just gotta grip the glory of the comments

Lesson 1 OP. Be careful with slippery things. You could have given yourself a concussion. FYL :(

It's a nice bonus though with unexpected oral 'sex' It's like ordering drinks and be surprised by happy hour

Goblin182 26

Well, there goes my theory that the head of the dick is to keep your hand for slipping off.

These puns are hard to beat. ;)

I see what you did there ?

dang it guys! you all beat me to these puns!

Did you get a lollipop?

I don't want to know how hard you were masturbating for your hand to chip your tooth

The machanics behind that maneuver are mind-boggling.

sounds very impressive. ha. good luck with the tooth.

His hand just wanted give him a good ol' beating back; it's only returning the favour!

I'm half wondering if a fleshlight was involved....

Maybe a little bit less lube next time

His dick must be huge...

Or why is face was in any position to get hit by his flying fist. Lol

Maybe you were using to much lotion...

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Eliseopwns 22

Perhaps it'd be best if you use a bit less "elbow grease" next time, bro.

Fucked your face!

More like fucked up his face. Haha.

God's watching you, the pervy git, lol

So? It ain't wrong ..

headofmedusa 15

I guess you can say OP was....shit I'm not good at this.

squidward_fail 5

howd u explain that to ur dentist?

I'm a dentist, I have no idea how I'd react to something like that!

What's a dentist? A Dr. that failed medical school! Haha!!!

Actually, dentist are one of the most paid careers. They are two completly different jobs.

"So yea, after I took a break from my morning popcorn feasting session, I started masterbating furiously and my hand slipped off my willi gag and popped me right in my nipkissa."

Too hard. Way too hard