By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks 68 481
You deserved it 10 673

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I guess you can you say your fashion sense is certainly "cutting edge" Sincerely, Your useless superhero Bad Pun Man.

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...


2 - even if it's painful, he deserves it for not wanting to be circumcised, for the Lord commands it. trollololololololol

Rabbi's don't get paid to do circumcisions, but they do keep the tips...

strizz18 0

OMG sounds pleasurable!!

Why would a religious leader keep the tips of somebodies penis.

48- I heard if you put them in a blender and sprinkle cinnamon on it it tastes just like a taco mmhhhm yep

corndawg 2

i see what you did there 30

The irony of this fml is the fact that getting circumcised (in other cultures such as mine) are a way into manhood. In op's case, I'm not quite sure.. pain....

Stick it back on with glue!:')

geesh bro...really like fyl

saaaalt 4

ouuch. I feel uncomfortable now & I don't even have one of those.

I bet you didn't give the favor back, right? What a selfish ho, poor zipper but FYL anyway.

skyeyez9 24

To make a necklace?

noeyolivia 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
icanhazblivions 1

I'm sure they are quaking in their boots at your wise words, epyck.

My wiener hurts now, but this is why you don't get to hastey and rush the zippin, that's your precious wood pecker down there and you have to make sure he's all the way in the bird house before you shut the door.

circumsision is when they cut off ur 4skin

sheagstaz 0

tell me when you get a lucky pair of pants.I think those are due for an exchange

to chop off your foreskin

to cut off your foreskin, I think

spartanfan68 0

118 circumcision is when you have the tip of your penis removed for religious purposes of to prevent stds

118-this is why we have google.

yes OP that must have felt awesome.

A single tear went down my cheek when I read this...

deafeningsilence 8

If 118 doesn't know what circumcision is, then I doubt that she'll know what foreskin is.

zowieandzander77 1

if you don't know what circumcision is then you shouldn't be on this site!

bitchin94 2

you have no* idea

icanrockyourworl 0

get off fml.

people are being circumcised for health reasons now to. Apparently it prevents infections and thongs like that. I was circumcised for religious reasons so I wouldn't have first hand experience though.

who would fuck me... girl blonde blue eyes hot ( says my friends and people) .... but flat

eltapatio16 5

when you finger yourself by accident.

eltapatio16 5

at 118

I would laugh. very hard if 118 was a guy

270 - this isn't a dating site.

fuff_fml 4

ahaha. damn. nice word choice :)

Circumcision does not prevent STDs. dur.

PrimeStarscream 30

Of course it hurts.

jdeshnerx3 0

you left a nice tip :)

Takador 3

WTF??? Don't you wear underwear?? How is that even possible??

I had to keep my penis chained to me leg so shit like this won't happen. and if he growls at me I beat him till he's unconscious:)

DoubtedSeeker 0

hahaha that's pretty clever :)

should run around with some tape and stick it on random peoples foreheads. Then scream and run away.

ow ow ow ow! I feel so bad for you OP

awwww dude why I feel so bad

chickunkey 0

At least op had a foreskin to rip off :"( *sob*

Ooooh ow! Holy shit that had to hurt...

you can call your parents and thank them, for saving money on it since you did it yourself. ...ish

catrav77 0


yes, ish. it's not an actual circumcision, it's an ish. :)

catrav77 0

aah! I have been enlightened! :)

you're welcome. feel free to add that to your vocabulary. it comes in great when you can't find the right word;)

parents dont have to pay to get their kid circumcised. the doctor just asks if they want it cut off or not then they cut it off quick.

64- really? are you even old enough to have sex Ed? cause when my 4 year old was born guess what? mommy and her insurance company paid for the circumcision!!! so stfu before you say "oh they just cut it off"... smh the fuck!

itsmeyippie 0

Epyk, You made my day.... :) OP did it literally circumcise you or did it just hurt really fricken bad?

you're welcome. I don't try to get into much on here but if someone tries to throw it like they know what's up... I will light the biggest fucking match under their ass and watch them try and hang.... fucking idiot +_+

catrav77 0

hehe you show 'em!

itsmeyippie 0

Tell it like it is sister!

97- no, I dont think I will. how stupid does one have to be? both the Dipshit who said circumcision was free and I live in the US so it's not like a cultural issue. dude is straight fucking retarded. just as a majority of people on fml gripe about... get your facts before commenting, or you will get annihilated! but thanks for caring about my blood pressure :)

jakel121 0

Epyk, your hot.

itsmeyippie 0

From now on you will always be a role model of mine, with Randy Jackson, Michael Jackson, and Chuck Norris, and You. I will always think " How would they operate in this situation? a) fight- b) sing and moonwalk- c) change the subject- or d) smack talk the f*ck out of them

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha! love it.

itsmeyippie 0

Always here to give a laugh or two =D

'when my 4 year old was born' ouch.

how is that an ouch? obviously he was born 4 years ago, now a 4 yr old...

jvillan87 5

Yeah...pretty sure he was joking 192...

jvillan87 5

Yeah...pretty sure he was joking 192...

why the hell would you pay a doctor to mutilate your son's penis?

jakel121 0

it isn't mutilating. it is a part of many cultures and is not harmful.

robotiick 12

4- u made my day lol

107- you do need to calm down in some places circomsition is free. It was free here in Canada since it was covered by taxes. :)

considering the one who said circumcision was free is also from the US is why I said something. not once was Canada brought up. since Canada has free health care and the US doesn't, please don't compare when it's something not comparable.

236- please don't take offense to why I just said, it was not meant to offend, I think my wording came off a little harsh. but what I was saying was the one who started the "free"circumcision rant is from the US and has no clue what s/he is saying

dbss11 3

I agree with epic, people shouldn't say things that they don't know, because then they convey false information to others and then they spread that information and it causes a chain reaction. so just don't assume things pretty much, and it's just really annoying when someone is talking about something they know nothing about, makes them sound ignorant too

when you pay for something in taxes that means it's not free so in reality Canadians pay for circumscision as well.

iLikeBoyes22 0

wow calm your tits

motorcycleman333 0

You have a four year old child, yet you still spend time arguing with strangers on "FML"?

itsmeyippie 0

So you are stating you have never gotten into an argruement with someone that is stubborn and tries to change your words? Internet or not, mother/father or not, even mature or not, It's still kinda frustrating. I would know because there is like 50 of these people in my school, haters can hate, it's annoying.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off!

comepoopwithme 0

how is the zipper finding the perimeter of a circle painful?

__ShAd0w__ 0

That's the circumference you fucking moron...

Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0

208, you read my mind.

dudeitsdanny 9

Today, I got circumferenced by my zipper.. I'm gonna say that to some lucky stranger/acquaintenance(I feel like I misspelled this, but it's a hassle to check from my ipod..) tomorrow.

Blake4477 0

208 and 289) Y'all just made my freakin day I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life!!(:

salvorican 24

Sounds like you weren't ready for big boy pants..

chronicxxl 0

Did molten lava men take advantage of you and finish up in your hair?

better now than never! or never is okay...

you should've super glued it

immahotbetch 0

you would know.

Crazy4Christ 0


MrSexyPants 14

I think I just died a little bit inside.

I think I died a little bit inside at your epic username. :)

hellogoodbye1996 6

it's not that epic..5th grade called it wants it's name back. yeah when I was in 5th grade I was calling my friend that

jakel121 0

Maybe you are speaking of me? I have been called Mr. Sexy Pants.

Michele2luv 8

^^ win!

mattmadden 0


too bad, bitch. make me a sammich.