dumbassbuffet
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Hot boy summer
Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
sharkgirl4
Rialto, United States
Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
Username
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
I'm a huge fan
Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML
Anonymous
Concord, Canada
Today, I fell off the top of my bunk bed in my sleep onto a running fan. FML
thwack
United States
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
tylerlove361
United States
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Chicketi
Canada
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Boredom
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Caught
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
irony
United States
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Australia
Slicy slicy
Today, I was getting ready for a date, so to avoid stinky pits, I went to put some deodorant on. However, when I raised my arm to apply it, I almost sliced my hand off when I raised it right into the ceiling fan. FML
Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
Wrong kind of ********, champ.
Alleged_Cranium 7
You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?
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Comments (434)
every1luvsboners 11
Wrong kind of ********, champ.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
How the hell did you manage that?
YayorNay 8
I mean its tempting with a finger...but a penis?
13FTW 9
These ******* one liners piss me off -___- On the other note I give you props for having the balls to stick your pecker on a fan. Even if they may be cut now, it's a great conversation starter.
SillyFart 7
Masturbation. You're doing it wrong
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Yes 23- "Hi my names Dave, and last year I almost cut my penis off!" That's not awkward. Not one bit.
leogirl95 12
You sir are a wiener.
n_epic_fail 14
Hey, at least your weren't trying to have sex with fruit… you just wanted a special kind of blow-job.
flockz 20
hopefully you didn't splooge in the fan. it would be like pissing in the wind.
AnonymousTroll 2
OP sure has a FANcy fetish...
fanceh 10
He has a fetish for me?
ThePopularLoner 0
I see what you did there
ygdrassil 17
At least it wasn't a pencil sharpener.
J3R3MYY 14
I dont see how anyone could manage to get their penis in a pencil sharpener. Well thats just me.
TheRealBruce 12
This reminds me of something peter did
Choose_Wisely 5
i love how you dont even have to hear the story behind this to know that OP deserved it lol
HetaliaFreak 10
I'd like to know how this started.
KMtheDrummer 6
I nominate this for best comment by Boners ever. That's saying a lot. And first, even... Wow, you're on top of your game today, Boners.
JCLynn 11
Maybe he was trying to practice controlling his erections.
Streeet_hayley 6
This FML took me like 5 minutes to click on my ipod because it's so small.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Why don't you just suck his dick, 187. I nominate you to be his biggest kiss ass.
fml9595 0
192- me too, I ended up going to number two then pressing the up button!
tweetbaby14 18
Well, 170, unless he says something along the lines of "My penis chose to float into the desk-fan." Then, yes, he deserved it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Even a desk fan can cut wood these days. Time to get rid of my DeWalt.
bluetorpedo 0
No no 209 get out your 18v hammer drill, get a high amp 18v power supply, hardwire to your drill. Take a metal fan blade, and attach it to some sort of shaft and place it in the chuck of your hammer drill. Put it into the high speed hammer and enjoy easy wood cutting and a nice cool breeze.
G0v3nat0r 7
195- he can't suck OP's dick because it's in ribbons
iredbone 10
omg! me too! lol (:
changesinme 0
You sir, brought masturbation, to a whole new level.
PopsicleLicker 0
me too. stupid one liners.
ENomine18 9
WIN
Sebastian_NG 17
I can totally picture that in my head... "Well if my fingers dont fit in the spaces between the bars Im sure as hell my penis wont go through, but just to be on the safe side.... Ooouch sunnuva bitch" Guess youre too overestimate yourself mate
Rachmini 10
Me too!
r0ckPrinc3sS 0
.
mightymart 5
Wth boner, youre like the comic relief of this place.. Do you EVER Go outside??
scarletdragonfly 5
...How the ****?
stephan18 23
Boner wins at FML... :0
Rey24 2
Holy **** that made me laugh.
nbsmatambo 2
So much win!
Alleged_Cranium 7
You don't quite understand what a ******** is? Do you?
Muffin_Man_321 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You don't quite understand what a joke is, do you?
RetardedChipmunk 7
Im pretty sure that he posted right after boners and they just thought the same thing...
gabrielbaby 9
Yup. They probably meant that op didn't get it.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
he probably didn't even have a dick to begin with...
unitedfan11 0
WTF??? Why do you have your dick flying around a desk fan anyway??
leadman1989 16
2 - I think hw was auditioning for 1000 ways to day... he was so close. :p
mrs_bruno_mars 14
*die
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
My question is why his penis was by a fan anyways...
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Dyson fans work pretty well lol. Jk
death_dolphin24 0
It's when someone blows on your penis as intercourse.
hotscar 3
Check the times that they are posted. It's less than a minute difference.
mylifepwnz 0
It takes skill to fail that badly.
gingerftw 0
Been there done that
fthislyfe 22
Do you have a penis now? Or did you cut all of it?
HatefulPilot 0
This ginger doesn't have a soul and a male reproductive organ. FYL
SillyFart 7
What else would you expect from a ginger kid
ScarletBloom 14
That's not something to floss about.
trixy81 10
Your like 10. How do you manage that?
Daralea 21
Apparently 10 year-olds have penises now. It's a fairly recent development, but I thought you should know.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
I wonder how you found that out pervert haha just jokes
xosportsgirl14x 8
141- you look about 10, as well.
codplayer2442 1
Your like 7 you have no dick ****** ****** ass bitch
gregorrok1 0
Well I bet half of these thumbs down are because you have "ginger" in your name
cup_of_squirrels 6
You're
hawaiianfire 0
Yes, chopping the wood has always been an activity for sexually frustrated boys.
gingerftw 0
U mother ******* really like the word ginger don't you?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
My question is y a 10yr old has a FML account
gingerftw 0
15 u fag
spartan456 0
Because he choppe his penis off at the age of 6 his life is royally ******
missmia18 0
wanna go out
QuinShadd 0
Lol
usmcUSA 0
Ginger
hannahfran45 6
Awww the 10 year old learned some new big boy words!!!
skikid 0
damn 12 year old ginger would say that!
silver848 6
A ginger would attempt to cut his own penis off.....they have no souls remember?
gingerftw 0
What in the ******* hell is wrong with u fags I'm 15 so suck my ******* dick damn u guys ******* need to get lives Forreal
NoLimitzzGaming 7
Ouch
max_wilder 9
So that's what those are used for
hawaiianfire 0
Yes, ouch, indeed.
sonrisapreciosa 6
Do I even wanna know how this happened?
GraveRobber14 13
I do!
RavagedSoul 0
I assume it is "Cheap castration method 42: Penis in Fan"
Fruit_Dealer 9
I cam see the book in libraries already: "Vasectomy and other contraceptives for dummies".
eastsidesoldier 7
U know u wanna know
Savra_fml 17
*OP locked in office* "Hmmm, how can I get out?" *OP looks at phone, desk fan, keys in jean pocket* "Hmmm, what would MacGyver do" *OP puts hand on chin and squints eyes* "**** it!" *drops pants and begins to **** fan* Secretary "is everything alright in there?" OP "It worked. Help arrived. I might need this for later" *picks up dick from floor and casually strolls out* This is how I explain it.
Daralea 21
"DIY Circumcisions" is actually selling quite well.
mehblakerawr 0
He wanted to be a eunich.. (that's probably spelled wrong haha..)
Llama_Face89 34
241- nope you spelled it correctly
SodaGray 0
"Hello, 911? This is quagmire........no, no it's in a fan this time."
mustafa_fml 0
He got this from family guy but with a fan instead of a pencil sharpener
Enslaved 38
Hot balls?!
flockz 20
not anymore. now they're cold windblown balls...
tsim_fml 0
He should've used a condom.
SillyFart 7
How would that have helped anything
greg1234567890_fml 2
HOW??
NomOnShroomz 14
MAGIC!!
Mayjay122 7
when they say the term "whack off" it doesn't mean cut off your penis with a fan bro.......just sayin'
bfsd42 20
Your comment deserved a thumbs up until the "just sayin" part. Of course you are just saying.
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Your comment deserved a thumbs up until you started to write it.
J3R3MYY 14
You both are idiots.. Just sayin.
Hypershadow21 0
Im just.... saiyan
d3adly 5
Lol this is why I love you
Mayjay122 7
I Love you too, my boyfriend who managed to find my account on fml :]
quannyboy 0
Dbz abridged.
jAbberwocky613 0
Hmmm...why were you naked...near a desk fan...that didn't have a cover..and had access to your penis?
bachooka 5
Maybe the cover wasn't off. Maybe he just has a really small penis.
iFizzgig 11
Masochist?
ThePopularLoner 0
Americans our fav ignorant group of people
Daralea 21
It's actually really stuffy here (in Toronto, that is) :( it went all the up to 6degC.
iliketurdles 7
Holy ****, 6 degrees Celsius? That's practically up there in the sun! I'm surprised Canadians are even fair skinned.
EmilyStrauch 8
That's my question
Llama_Face89 34
142- you consider 42 degrees F stuffy? Where in Canada are you from?!
thamindofme 0
nicee
Clubkicker_fml 0
They cannot give you a great ******** just a bloody hilarious one.
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
It gives u both btw
biasedshooter 24
With an emphasis on the bloody