FML : Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

389

By James / Friday 22 July 2011 05:00 / United States

Intimacy

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Top comments

By hombrepollo | 0

#2951670 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:08

ur still a virgin

By Glitterhinoceros | 14

#2951691 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.

Comments

By lukehappygilmore | 4

#2951666 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:08

dude, you're premature

HowAreYouToday | 32

#2951686 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

premature ejaculation man strikes again!

SuperPineApple | 0

#2951701 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

So I'm guessing you're getting the coupon back?

StrobeEffexxMann_fml | 0

#2951704 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

This.

lukehappygilmore | 4

#2951757 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:13

so technically you're still a virgin

dolphincheddar | 10

#2951791 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:16

ouch... jack off more?

HowAreYouToday | 32

#2951802 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:17

he is probably gonna have to jack off more anyways...

trgower13 | 0

#2951838 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:21

just keep on trying. you will get soon.

enonymous | 8

#2951852 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:23

I lost my virginity recently... put up signs and reward money for it but alas it never came home. I hope it found a good home

TheRealHouse | 7

#2951914 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:34

Dude you said I could take it! You don't remember?

Jimmyd0t | 0

#2951916 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:34

invest in a blow up doll ?

MrFlintstone | 5

#2951926 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:36

you most have been thinking about for while now

wolflover44 | 5

#2951988 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:45

This story reminds me of my ex...

Yodaevil | 4

#2952110 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:07

only had one round? doesn't most virgin men carry a six shooter? minimal? so launch one in the pants, take em off and go for round two!

cptcook | 0

#2952118 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:08

it's Steve carrel !

wisky_fml | 5

#2952127 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:10

ya???????datsux

TheMasticater | 9

#2952250 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:37

And I jizzed in my pants...

HowAreYouToday | 32

#2952264 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:40

I'd hate to have a boyfriend who cums too quicklu

LordGoober | 13

#2952394 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:21

I guess that's one his short cummings in life?

grrrrmetigers | 0

#2952462 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:48

dude. hes like the thing before premature. this is pretty sad

sematariux | 7

#2952541 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:10

boner achieved thanks Tara... lmao jk

juicedboi | 7

#2953259 - Friday 22 July 2011 08:29

Well to be fair on you, did she happen to feed you a grape? Or maybe open the window and let a breeze roll in? I am led to believe via extremely reliable resources, that these situations may cause a male to "jizz" in his pants.

HowAreYouToday | 32

#2953382 - Friday 22 July 2011 08:45

"jizz"?!

dolphincheddar | 10

#2953499 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:01

at least it was only in your dreams

manlove38 | 20

#2953651 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:24

really hope it finds it way back soon.

kroekdog | 7

#2953898 - Friday 22 July 2011 10:22

hahaha best song evar

jw450 | 0

#2954755 - Saturday 23 July 2011 01:26

obviously

jw450 | 0

#2954770 - Saturday 23 July 2011 01:29

or did his alarm clock go off, or did a song comes on that reminds him of her?

MyCleverName | 2

#2954790 - Saturday 23 July 2011 01:40

"I cum too fast, I cum too fast... Sometimes it's even game over before I take off my pants."

DaslovesTrack | 2

#2955384 - Saturday 23 July 2011 04:08

269 hahahahahahahaaa

baseball6917 | 8

#2955477 - Saturday 23 July 2011 04:32

she must have been HOT

AnonymousTroll | 2

#2955674 - Saturday 23 July 2011 05:16

It looks like you *sunglasses* finished your dirty work.

PrincezzLena05 | 0

#2955710 - Saturday 23 July 2011 05:26

nice one dude ! xD

FMMFL1992 | 3

#2955754 - Saturday 23 July 2011 05:34

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

tamt2 | 4

#2957163 - Saturday 23 July 2011 08:12

im guessing he didn't get a second try!

francisw93 | 3

#2965146 - Sunday 24 July 2011 04:37

champion!

My_Name_Is_ | 5

#2970284 - Monday 25 July 2011 08:07

your final words should have been "i am SO sorry!

dustinsgirl | 0

#2975564 - Monday 25 July 2011 11:50

283- your hott (;

dustinsgirl | 0

#2975574 - Monday 25 July 2011 11:51

283- your hott! (;

mdizzl | 6

#2995699 - Friday 29 July 2011 08:14

that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard

Humanspider | 18

#3705663 - Friday 9 December 2011 09:14

That poor man.

DarksideDoll | 31

#5880347 - Sunday 9 March 2014 10:04

If you finished before entering, did you really lose your virginity?

By Bijaglo | 3

#2951668 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:08

That is pitiful....

gottaluvisabella | 0

#2952208 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:26

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

tsume24 | 3

#2952270 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:42

I'm pretty sure getting off before you're even anywhere near penetration doesn't mean you lost your virginity...

iSitt | 0

#2952281 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:46

being premature in your first few times is normal. Sometimes the newness is just too exciting.

snade | 0

#2952289 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:49

I agree with 107. OP probably just got over excited. Especially if it was the woman of his dreams.

suprmidgt | 0

#2952337 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:05

I agree and he did say he's twenty eight probably even more excited then say a 16 year old trying it out for the first time.

MagicGiraffe | 12

#2953119 - Friday 22 July 2011 08:09

some call it premature I call it ecstasy

LizzyTheCaliGurl | 0

#2961756 - Sunday 24 July 2011 02:18

cuz when we're holdin hands, it's like Gavin sex to me :D love that song

By hombrepollo | 0

#2951670 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:08

ur still a virgin

TheMasticater | 9

#2951967 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:43

Yeah I agree that doesn't count as sex xD

dickydickman | 0

#2951969 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:43

jerk off before so you can last longer

ShawnzieNstuff | 6

#2952004 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:47

Exactly^ never go in with a loaded gun.

U_Go_Boom | 0

#2952285 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:46

why do u think most porno's get a blowjob cum before they decide to start fucking? it helps them last longer for the shoot

kings1fan | 6

#2952338 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:05

-54 haha There's Something about Mary

grrrrmetigers | 0

#2952458 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:46

lol his dick needs to get out more

JesusFishTaco | 5

#2952468 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:52

155-You mean get "in" more.

tuppencej777 | 0

#2952508 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:05

We had sex after. How else would he have lost his virginity? It never said that's ALL he did.

crymore007 | 11

#2954295 - Friday 22 July 2011 11:45

still counts!

marthagayo | 14

#2954601 - Saturday 23 July 2011 12:46

we?

tuppencej777 | 0

#2955509 - Saturday 23 July 2011 04:45

Yes we. I am the woman he lost his virginity to after the unfortunate incident.

Imgonnahaveabf | 9

#2956530 - Saturday 23 July 2011 06:49

How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is all over the web

Imgonnahaveabf | 9

#2956555 - Saturday 23 July 2011 06:52

How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is on the internet? (sorry 'bout the typo before, I AM SOOO FREAKIN' PISSED.)

Booda13 | 0

#2957184 - Saturday 23 July 2011 08:16

hey Tara =]

quinnjamin10 | 2

#2957893 - Saturday 23 July 2011 11:19

You found his FML or did he show it to you lol?

tuppencej777 | 0

#2958210 - Saturday 23 July 2011 02:02

We both agreed it an FML. So here it is.

tuppencej777 | 0

#2958220 - Saturday 23 July 2011 02:09

It's*

Imgonnahaveabf | 9

#2962912 - Sunday 24 July 2011 06:08

You have very proper grammar. And a nice crayola lamp.

By Benji114 | 0

#2951675 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:08

Time for some practice..

johnson94 | 5

#2954234 - Friday 22 July 2011 11:31

"and then I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!"

Meattymeatballs | 2

#3062410 - Monday 8 August 2011 08:37

ha!

By ih82bl8 | 2

#2951681 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

Aaw- I hope u were married. it wud have made it more special

NomOnShroomz | 14

#2953907 - Friday 22 July 2011 10:24

Aaw- no -.- always take it out for a test drive before you buy it.

By Glitterhinoceros | 14

#2951691 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:09

Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.

musicfreak9821 | 6

#2951846 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:22

~that's why I'll treat you like trash!~

shannon1029 | 4

#2951867 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:25

haha I love nigahiga

imcutefml | 0

#2951941 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:40

lol nigahiga/kevjumva reference^

treehugger121 | 0

#2951950 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:41

~it's not what I really want to do~

nicobington | 1

#2952023 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:50

buuut u only date bad guys

waswashere | 0

#2952147 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:15

no, nice guys finish in the shower

IndigoFuckYou | 9

#2952164 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:19

78-you ruined it.

ordinarybadger | 0

#2952178 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:22

but he finished first remember lol

suprmidgt | 0

#2952343 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:07

I'm a nice guy and I finish all the time.

kings1fan | 6

#2952349 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:08

-81 so did you

Do_The_DANCE | 4

#2952360 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:13

am I the only one that realizes how gorgeous this girl is?

YummiGummi | 0

#2952377 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:17

And Imma beat you!... in every competition

Corry_fml | 1

#2952439 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:40

and she's 12 dude...

Madiluvsyuh98 | 2

#2952504 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:04

umm no she was born in 92

Drummerboy1234 | 0

#2953713 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:38

god your a genius

pickles2012 | 5

#2953922 - Friday 22 July 2011 10:26

he wishes he cud make good girls go bad.

TKrisha_fml | 5

#2954553 - Saturday 23 July 2011 12:31

nigahiga and kevjuma reference :-P

howslife123 | 0

#2954688 - Saturday 23 July 2011 01:09

do I look fat in this dress? YEAAS U DO! trololol

ohyoulikethat | 0

#2970182 - Monday 25 July 2011 07:51

haha best comment

hockeykyle10 | 5

#4325572 - Thursday 19 April 2012 08:56

I just thought I would let you know that I am Alex ovechkin. What happens next? ;)

By hombrepollo | 0

#2951710 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:10

this is an FML for the girl

By marousje | 19

#2951715 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:10

So, you didn't lose your virginity at all

tuppencej777 | 0

#2952493 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:01

He did. I was there.

crzymxican | 0

#2954026 - Friday 22 July 2011 10:54

lol good one

Stroke_Her_Ace | 15

#2964649 - Sunday 24 July 2011 02:17

Please tell me that lamp was there.

Xemogirl666X | 0

#2983453 - Wednesday 27 July 2011 04:30

how were u there o__O

By lemondrink | 0

#2951736 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:11

so you're still a virgin?

Madiluvsyuh98 | 2

#2952516 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:06

omg a million people said that already! just stop!!!! lmao

Garyy_fml | 11

#2952595 - Friday 22 July 2011 07:19

your profile pic says that you're 14, but you look 30

Madiluvsyuh98 | 2

#2954437 - Saturday 23 July 2011 12:09

I look thirty?!?! to tell the truth I'm actually 13

By Countrygirl5 | 8

#2951739 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:12

that's what happens when you obsess on just that ONE girl for so long. You prolly missed dozens of chances with prettier and prolly 'better' girl. FYL

Bijaglo | 3

#2951775 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:14

Please tell me that picture is old because that phone is ugly...

stall2dude911 | 2

#2951910 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:33

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

whadduppFML | 0

#2952052 - Friday 22 July 2011 04:54

you are so dumb.

Yodaevil | 4

#2952125 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:10

not every 15 year old gets iPhones nowadays! cut her some slack. but I bet she was one of those girls who is ticked a boy passed up on her for the girl he was obsessing with.

transfat | 0

#2952242 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:33

a guy can obsses if he want kso stfu he can do what he wants . .... but still i have to give you props for not using that ugly duckface;)

transfat | 0

#2952249 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:36

and who says the girl he has isnt already a 10 ... he cant get a pretier better girl.

transfat | 0

#2952260 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:39

and.? she is pretty she'll get a better guy .

ifailplzinsultme | 0

#2952300 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:52

What does "prolly" mean?

mad_hatter0666 | 22

#2952323 - Friday 22 July 2011 05:59

Lazy slang term for "probably."

PoeSlayer | 0

#2952372 - Friday 22 July 2011 06:15

you've obviously never truly cared about anyone

lalala2589 | 0

#2953574 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:14

Why would he sleep around when he is in love with someone else? Maybe he has some respect for the girl and himself, just a thought.

Drummerboy1234 | 0

#2953725 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:40

you dumb bitch, now we know what YOU like to do

mrsvickybear | 9

#2953738 - Friday 22 July 2011 09:43

ur a cold bitch

Countrygirl5 | 8

#2954316 - Friday 22 July 2011 11:47

yes it's an old phone... it was my backup.

tjv3 | 9

#2954710 - Saturday 23 July 2011 01:16

it's called love. he passed on other girls because he didn't want them. there is nothing wrong with that at all. there would be less STDs and teen moms if more people had standards and didn't sleep around

farmboy10 | 0

#2958393 - Saturday 23 July 2011 03:33

#1 what does the phone have to do with anything, 2. I can see where's she is comin from on her side but, if the guy apparently truly loved her I can get his point also