By James - 22/07/2011 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 850
You deserved it 12 080

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Glitterhinoceros 14

Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.


lukehappygilmore 4

dude, you're premature

HowAreYouToday 34

premature ejaculation man strikes again!

So I'm guessing you're getting the coupon back?

lukehappygilmore 4

so technically you're still a virgin

ouch... jack off more?

HowAreYouToday 34

he is probably gonna have to jack off more anyways...

trgower13 0

just keep on trying. you will get soon.

enonymous 8

I lost my virginity recently... put up signs and reward money for it but alas it never came home. I hope it found a good home

TheRealHouse 7

Dude you said I could take it! You don't remember?

invest in a blow up doll ?

MrFlintstone 5

you most have been thinking about for while now

This story reminds me of my ex...

only had one round? doesn't most virgin men carry a six shooter? minimal? so launch one in the pants, take em off and go for round two!

it's Steve carrel !

And I jizzed in my pants...

HowAreYouToday 34

I'd hate to have a boyfriend who cums too quicklu

I guess that's one his short cummings in life?

dude. hes like the thing before premature. this is pretty sad

sematariux 7

boner achieved thanks Tara... lmao jk

juicedboi 7

Well to be fair on you, did she happen to feed you a grape? Or maybe open the window and let a breeze roll in? I am led to believe via extremely reliable resources, that these situations may cause a male to "jizz" in his pants.

HowAreYouToday 34


at least it was only in your dreams

manlove38 23

really hope it finds it way back soon.

kroekdog 7

hahaha best song evar

or did his alarm clock go off, or did a song comes on that reminds him of her?

MyCleverName 2

"I cum too fast, I cum too fast... Sometimes it's even game over before I take off my pants."

DaslovesTrack 2

269 hahahahahahahaaa

she must have been HOT

It looks like you *sunglasses* finished your dirty work.

nice one dude ! xD

FMMFL1992 3

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im guessing he didn't get a second try!

My_Name_Is_ 5

your final words should have been "i am SO sorry!

283- your hott (;

283- your hott! (;

mdizzl 6

that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard

That poor man.

If you finished before entering, did you really lose your virginity?

That is pitiful....

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tsume24 3

I'm pretty sure getting off before you're even anywhere near penetration doesn't mean you lost your virginity...

iSitt 0

being premature in your first few times is normal. Sometimes the newness is just too exciting.

I agree with 107. OP probably just got over excited. Especially if it was the woman of his dreams.

I agree and he did say he's twenty eight probably even more excited then say a 16 year old trying it out for the first time.

MagicGiraffe 12

some call it premature I call it ecstasy

cuz when we're holdin hands, it's like Gavin sex to me :D love that song

Yeah I agree that doesn't count as sex xD

dickydickman 0

jerk off before so you can last longer

Exactly^ never go in with a loaded gun.

why do u think most porno's get a blowjob cum before they decide to start fucking? it helps them last longer for the shoot

kings1fan 6

-54 haha There's Something about Mary

lol his dick needs to get out more

155-You mean get "in" more.

tuppencej777 0

We had sex after. How else would he have lost his virginity? It never said that's ALL he did.

tuppencej777 0

Yes we. I am the woman he lost his virginity to after the unfortunate incident.

How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is all over the web

How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is on the internet? (sorry 'bout the typo before, I AM SOOO FREAKIN' PISSED.)

Booda13 0

hey Tara =]

You found his FML or did he show it to you lol?

tuppencej777 0

We both agreed it an FML. So here it is.

tuppencej777 0


You have very proper grammar. And a nice crayola lamp.

Time for some practice..

johnson94 5

"and then I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!"

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Aaw- no -.- always take it out for a test drive before you buy it.

Glitterhinoceros 14

Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.

~that's why I'll treat you like trash!~

haha I love nigahiga

imcutefml 0

lol nigahiga/kevjumva reference^

treehugger121 0

~it's not what I really want to do~

nicobington 1

buuut u only date bad guys

no, nice guys finish in the shower

but he finished first remember lol

I'm a nice guy and I finish all the time.

kings1fan 6

-81 so did you

Do_The_DANCE 4

am I the only one that realizes how gorgeous this girl is?

YummiGummi 0

And Imma beat you!... in every competition

Corry_fml 1

and she's 12 dude...

Madiluvsyuh98 2

umm no she was born in 92

Drummerboy1234 0

god your a genius

pickles2012 5

he wishes he cud make good girls go bad.

nigahiga and kevjuma reference :-P

do I look fat in this dress? YEAAS U DO! trololol

ohyoulikethat 0

haha best comment

I just thought I would let you know that I am Alex ovechkin. What happens next? ;)

this is an FML for the girl

So, you didn't lose your virginity at all

tuppencej777 0

He did. I was there.

Stroke_Her_Ace 15

Please tell me that lamp was there.

how were u there o__O

so you're still a virgin?

Madiluvsyuh98 2

omg a million people said that already! just stop!!!! lmao

your profile pic says that you're 14, but you look 30

Madiluvsyuh98 2

I look thirty?!?! to tell the truth I'm actually 13

that's what happens when you obsess on just that ONE girl for so long. You prolly missed dozens of chances with prettier and prolly 'better' girl. FYL

Please tell me that picture is old because that phone is ugly...

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not every 15 year old gets iPhones nowadays! cut her some slack. but I bet she was one of those girls who is ticked a boy passed up on her for the girl he was obsessing with.

a guy can obsses if he want kso stfu he can do what he wants . .... but still i have to give you props for not using that ugly duckface;)

and who says the girl he has isnt already a 10 ... he cant get a pretier better girl.

and.? she is pretty she'll get a better guy .

ifailplzinsultme 0

What does "prolly" mean?

mad_hatter0666 22

Lazy slang term for "probably."

you've obviously never truly cared about anyone

Why would he sleep around when he is in love with someone else? Maybe he has some respect for the girl and himself, just a thought.

Drummerboy1234 0

you dumb bitch, now we know what YOU like to do

yes it's an old phone... it was my backup.

tjv3 10

it's called love. he passed on other girls because he didn't want them. there is nothing wrong with that at all. there would be less STDs and teen moms if more people had standards and didn't sleep around

farmboy10 0

#1 what does the phone have to do with anything, 2. I can see where's she is comin from on her side but, if the guy apparently truly loved her I can get his point also