Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML
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By
hombrepollo
| 0
ur still a virgin
By
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.
COMMENTS
By
lukehappygilmore
| 4
dude, you're premature
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
premature ejaculation man strikes again!
Reply
SuperPineApple
| 0
So I'm guessing you're getting the coupon back?
Reply
This.
Reply
lukehappygilmore
| 4
so technically you're still a virgin
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
ouch... jack off more?
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
he is probably gonna have to jack off more anyways...
Reply
trgower13
| 0
just keep on trying. you will get soon.
Reply
enonymous
| 8
I lost my virginity recently... put up signs and reward money for it but alas it never came home. I hope it found a good home
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TheRealHouse
| 7
Dude you said I could take it! You don't remember?
Reply
Jimmyd0t
| 0
invest in a blow up doll ?
Reply
MrFlintstone
| 5
you most have been thinking about for while now
Reply
wolflover44
| 5
This story reminds me of my ex...
Reply
Yodaevil
| 4
only had one round? doesn't most virgin men carry a six shooter? minimal? so launch one in the pants, take em off and go for round two!
Reply
cptcook
| 0
it's Steve carrel !
Reply
wisky_fml
| 5
ya???????datsux
Reply
TheMasticater
| 9
And I jizzed in my pants...
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
I'd hate to have a boyfriend who cums too quicklu
Reply
LordGoober
| 13
I guess that's one his short cummings in life?
Reply
grrrrmetigers
| 0
dude. hes like the thing before premature. this is pretty sad
Reply
sematariux
| 7
boner achieved thanks Tara... lmao jk
Reply
juicedboi
| 7
Well to be fair on you, did she happen to feed you a grape? Or maybe open the window and let a breeze roll in? I am led to believe via extremely reliable resources, that these situations may cause a male to "jizz" in his pants.
Reply
HowAreYouToday
| 34
"jizz"?!
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
at least it was only in your dreams
Reply
manlove38
| 21
really hope it finds it way back soon.
Reply
kroekdog
| 7
hahaha best song evar
Reply
jw450
| 0
obviously
Reply
jw450
| 0
or did his alarm clock go off, or did a song comes on that reminds him of her?
Reply
MyCleverName
| 2
"I cum too fast, I cum too fast... Sometimes it's even game over before I take off my pants."
Reply
DaslovesTrack
| 2
269 hahahahahahahaaa
Reply
baseball6917
| 8
she must have been HOT
Reply
AnonymousTroll
| 2
It looks like you *sunglasses* finished your dirty work.
Reply
PrincezzLena05
| 0
nice one dude ! xD
Reply
FMMFL1992
| 3
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
tamt2
| 4
im guessing he didn't get a second try!
Reply
francisw93
| 3
champion!
Reply
My_Name_Is_
| 5
your final words should have been
"i am SO sorry!
"i am SO sorry!
Reply
dustinsgirl
| 0
283- your hott (;
Reply
dustinsgirl
| 0
283- your hott! (;
Reply
mdizzl
| 6
that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard
Reply
Humanspider
| 18
That poor man.
Reply
DarksideDoll
| 31
If you finished before entering, did you really lose your virginity?
By
Bijaglo
| 3
That is pitiful....
Reply
gottaluvisabella
| 0
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
tsume24
| 3
I'm pretty sure getting off before you're even anywhere near penetration doesn't mean you lost your virginity...
Reply
iSitt
| 0
being premature in your first few times is normal. Sometimes the newness is just too exciting.
Reply
snade
| 0
I agree with 107. OP probably just got over excited. Especially if it was the woman of his dreams.
Reply
suprmidgt
| 0
I agree and he did say he's twenty eight probably even more excited then say a 16 year old trying it out for the first time.
Reply
MagicGiraffe
| 12
some call it premature I call it ecstasy
Reply
LizzyTheCaliGurl
| 0
cuz when we're holdin hands, it's like Gavin sex to me :D love that song
By
hombrepollo
| 0
ur still a virgin
Reply
TheMasticater
| 9
Yeah I agree that doesn't count as sex xD
Reply
dickydickman
| 0
jerk off before so you can last longer
Reply
ShawnzieNstuff
| 6
Exactly^ never go in with a loaded gun.
Reply
U_Go_Boom
| 0
why do u think most porno's get a blowjob cum before they decide to start fucking? it helps them last longer for the shoot
Reply
kings1fan
| 6
-54 haha There's Something about Mary
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grrrrmetigers
| 0
lol his dick needs to get out more
Reply
JesusFishTaco
| 5
155-You mean get "in" more.
Reply
tuppencej777
| 0
We had sex after. How else would he have lost his virginity? It never said that's ALL he did.
Reply
crymore007
| 11
still counts!
Reply
marthagayo
| 14
we?
Reply
tuppencej777
| 0
Yes we. I am the woman he lost his virginity to after the unfortunate incident.
Reply
Imgonnahaveabf
| 9
How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is all over the web
Reply
Imgonnahaveabf
| 9
How does it feel knowing your 'unfortunate incident' is on the internet? (sorry 'bout the typo before, I AM SOOO FREAKIN' PISSED.)
Reply
Booda13
| 0
hey Tara =]
Reply
quinnjamin10
| 2
You found his FML or did he show it to you lol?
Reply
tuppencej777
| 0
We both agreed it an FML. So here it is.
Reply
tuppencej777
| 0
It's*
Reply
Imgonnahaveabf
| 9
You have very proper grammar. And a nice crayola lamp.
By
Benji114
| 0
Time for some practice..
Reply
johnson94
| 5
"and then I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!"
Reply
Meattymeatballs
| 2
ha!
By
ih82bl8
| 2
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
NomOnShroomz
| 14
Aaw- no -.- always take it out for a test drive before you buy it.
By
Glitterhinoceros
| 14
Do you happen to be mean, by chance? Because apparently nice guys finish last.
Reply
musicfreak9821
| 6
~that's why I'll treat you like trash!~
Reply
shannon1029
| 4
haha I love nigahiga
Reply
imcutefml
| 0
lol nigahiga/kevjumva reference^
Reply
treehugger121
| 0
~it's not what I really want to do~
Reply
nicobington
| 1
buuut u only date bad guys
Reply
waswashere
| 0
no, nice guys finish in the shower
Reply
IndigoFuckYou
| 9
78-you ruined it.
Reply
ordinarybadger
| 0
but he finished first remember lol
Reply
suprmidgt
| 0
I'm a nice guy and I finish all the time.
Reply
kings1fan
| 6
-81 so did you
Reply
Do_The_DANCE
| 4
am I the only one that realizes how gorgeous this girl is?
Reply
YummiGummi
| 0
And Imma beat you!... in every competition
Reply
Corry_fml
| 1
and she's 12 dude...
Reply
Madiluvsyuh98
| 2
umm no she was born in 92
Reply
Drummerboy1234
| 0
god your a genius
Reply
pickles2012
| 5
he wishes he cud make good girls go bad.
Reply
TKrisha_fml
| 5
nigahiga and kevjuma reference :-P
Reply
howslife123
| 0
do I look fat in this dress? YEAAS U DO! trololol
Reply
ohyoulikethat
| 0
haha best comment
Reply
hockeykyle10
| 5
I just thought I would let you know that I am Alex ovechkin. What happens next? ;)
By
hombrepollo
| 0
this is an FML for the girl
By
marousje
| 20
So, you didn't lose your virginity at all
Reply
tuppencej777
| 0
He did. I was there.
Reply
crzymxican
| 0
lol good one
Reply
Stroke_Her_Ace
| 15
Please tell me that lamp was there.
Reply
Xemogirl666X
| 0
how were u there o__O
By
lemondrink
| 0
so you're still a virgin?
Reply
Madiluvsyuh98
| 2
omg a million people said that already! just stop!!!! lmao
Reply
Garyy_fml
| 11
your profile pic says that you're 14, but you look 30
Reply
Madiluvsyuh98
| 2
I look thirty?!?! to tell the truth I'm actually 13
By
Countrygirl5
| 8
that's what happens when you obsess on just that ONE girl for so long. You prolly missed dozens of chances with prettier and prolly 'better' girl. FYL
Reply
Bijaglo
| 3
Please tell me that picture is old because that phone is ugly...
Reply
stall2dude911
| 2
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
Show the comment
Reply
whadduppFML
| 0
you are so dumb.
Reply
Yodaevil
| 4
not every 15 year old gets iPhones nowadays! cut her some slack. but I bet she was one of those girls who is ticked a boy passed up on her for the girl he was obsessing with.
Reply
transfat
| 0
a guy can obsses if he want kso stfu he can do what he wants . .... but still i have to give you props for not using that ugly duckface;)
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transfat
| 0
and who says the girl he has isnt already a 10 ... he cant get a pretier better girl.
Reply
transfat
| 0
and.? she is pretty she'll get a better guy .
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ifailplzinsultme
| 0
What does "prolly" mean?
Reply
mad_hatter0666
| 22
Lazy slang term for "probably."
Reply
PoeSlayer
| 0
you've obviously never truly cared about anyone
Reply
lalala2589
| 0
Why would he sleep around when he is in love with someone else? Maybe he has some respect for the girl and himself, just a thought.
Reply
Drummerboy1234
| 0
you dumb bitch, now we know what YOU like to do
Reply
mrsvickybear
| 9
ur a cold bitch
Reply
Countrygirl5
| 8
yes it's an old phone... it was my backup.
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tjv3
| 10
it's called love. he passed on other girls because he didn't want them. there is nothing wrong with that at all. there would be less STDs and teen moms if more people had standards and didn't sleep around
Reply
farmboy10
| 0
#1 what does the phone have to do with anything, 2. I can see where's she is comin from on her side but, if the guy apparently truly loved her I can get his point also
Reply
mrsvickybear
| 9
lol