By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 766
You deserved it 3 035

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That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.

Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)

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Typical guy, I suppose.

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she put a bag on my head

barely. It takes longer than 20 seconds to get your clothes off.

would rather not have sex than to have a crapshag.

I think she might been a raciat

Ok #2, lol. You're funny. That's funny.

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It's typical male insecurity, no way was he going to admit how epic his failure was....

#33 - Chances are it's why he was crying.

Or, maybe he needs to be a man and rub out that easy one. It's a simple concept, and I don't understand why so many guys have trouble with it.

Is that what keeps you from crying, #84?

It'll get better with time. lol

I'd hope so, cause it'd take serious skill and effort to get worse than that lol

That's disappointing. On the bright side, now you can gossip to your friends about how awful it was.

Gossiping afterward always makes it better.

Or gossip to his friends. They'll give him shit for you

That's real mature. Do you know how embarrassing that must be for the or poor guy? I hope y'all were joking and I'm the only one that didn't get it.

If it's so embarrassing in the first place, why bother bragging about it? It greatly reduces the risk of finding out that one, his bragging wasn't true, and two, she would feel the need to correct his erroneous statements. I would personally prefer keeping mum on the subject and if she spilled the beans it makes her look like a bitch instead if him like a braggart.

If the guy doesn't want her gossiping about it, he wouldn't be talking about it in the first place. Plenty of guys from my school was bragging about their exploits, but I believed that about as much as I believe Area 51 stories. Never had much interest in bragging myself.

57 gotta love hearing the guys at school bragging aboit their 7 foot dicks, which is bigger than they are and wouldnt even fit in their pants, and yet magically no dicks dragging on the floor...

Tell his friends how shitty he actually was!

I hope they read this, I really do.

For real. call him out for lying

jesus no. the best way to destroy a man is to demasculate him in front of his friends. let him have his bs story. it's not hurting anyone.

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Tell his friends he has a small penis

yes because listening to FML about your love life has always been a good choice.

What a douche.

Let him brag to his friends this once (embarrassing him won't help anything), but also let him know that you heard and now expect his performance to (eventually) match up to his boasts. He'll improve with some practice. ;)

Good advice.

this is so clever. if he wants to lie he should be backing up with making it reality.

If he's willing to boast about the pounding he apparently gave her I doubt calling on it will do him good. Plus, why bother? He turned into a a complete wuss during sex and now wants to brag? It wasn't just a white lie it was full on slammed into douche lie. I doubt the guy would be willing to improve and if he's that insecure fuck it. Everyone is nervous their first time. Shit I get nervous first time with someone new, doesn't mean you gotta lie about how good you are in bed. No shame in learning, but kinda hard to teach that.

It's fitting how the wisest comment in this whole comment thread comes from the user with an owl picture :)

#11, if you are in a relationship, your partner is one lucky bastard to have a woman as wise as you are. If you are single, someone will be one lucky bastard to have a woman as wise as you are. I am from the Middle East. So my offer to wife you is 2 camels and a baby goat. Yes.

Why would you want give it up the asshole again?