Dreams

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I woke up from a dream where I was talking with my Pa, who raised me, about my life. He and I drank coffee and talked and he told me everything will be OK. I will never talk with him again; he passed almost 59 years ago and I never got to say goodbye or tell him how much I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 75

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, my wife had a dream that I cheated on her with a girl from my work named Marie. She told me that she wants me to quit my job and get a new one, just to avoid that from ever actually happening. There is nobody named Marie at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 72

Rough night

By paul - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at 6 a.m. from a nightmare in which my stalker ex was my Uber driver, but I woke up before he killed me. I fell back asleep and woke up after several more people attacked me and I fought them off with pepper spray, and found out more people were looking for me because they got 13 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 95

Truth bomb

By Hoo boy - 09/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 93

Trading places

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had to comfort my husband after he had a dream in which both his parents died. He was really upset. Both my parents are dead… in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 122

Hush!

By Anonymous - 04/03/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter signed “anonymously” by at least 6 of my neighbours that unless I do something about my loud nightmares they’re going to start calling the police every time it happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 147

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 131

Intruder alert!

By Pain - 06/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 147

My life is average

By Karen - 24/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Solon

Today, I fell asleep while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle. I then had an extremely vivid dream that I was going after Russian spies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 133

I'm a realist

By abbiexo97 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the checkout due to lack of funds. Even in my dreams I don’t have any money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 252

What is wrong with my brain?

By slickrick22 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 867

You deserved it 4 030

Time flies, people change

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I had a dream that I cheated on my boyfriend. With the person he was when we started dating. We’ve been dating for two and a half years and I love him, but he’s so different than when I first met him. Even though he’s technically the same person, I can’t help but feel like I cheated on him with him in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 182

Soft spot

By Anonymous - 18/05/2024 00:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I dreamt about a girl I sort of knew. In the dream she confessed her feelings for me, and it was the first time anyone had ever confessed that sort of thing to me. When I woke up, I found myself falling for her. The experience reminded me of my romantic loneliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 166

Hallowed be thy name

By NotStephanie - 02/05/2024 20:00 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, I woke up to my significant other talking in his sleep and soulfully professing his love for Stephanie. My name is not Stephanie. The only Stephanie he knows is a girl he worked at a hotel with over 10 years ago. He has done this at least twice a week since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 125

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 08/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 186

Alexa, play "Mind Games" by John Lennon

By Sleepy - 22/11/2023 07:30 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up to the realization that I had slept through my alarm, missed a crucial work meeting, and dreamt that I was the CEO of a company that manufactured alarm clocks. I now fear that my subconscious is mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 158

Satisfaction

By thacupcakeassassin - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Shippensburg

Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 082

You deserved it 1 759

Double trouble

By Anonymous - 22/07/2023 18:00

Today, I had a nightmare in which my abuser came back into my life… but with gothy makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 99

Sleep tight

By sleepy and scared - 09/07/2023 18:00

Today, it's been four straight nights of terrible nightmares. I’m afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 123

RIP in peace

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 09/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I got to find out for myself if dying in a dream causes you to die in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 194

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 19/04/2023 22:00 - United States - Bossier City

Today, I yet again dreamt of the girl I loved in elementary school. She isn’t the woman I wound up marrying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 711

Don't dream it's over

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 04:00 - United States - Burleson

Today, I was cockblocked by a machine. I'm in the hospital so I'm attached to the typical machines that monitor vitals, including heart rate. I fell asleep and had a sex dream which made my heart rate go up, which set off the beeping from the machine monitoring my vitals. Bam, I woke up, sex dream over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 242

Night terror

By Help - 25/02/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially at the point where I would do literally anything to have a pleasant dream, or at least one that's not absolutely fucking terrifying. I now know where the irrational fear of sleeping comes from. Anxiety can go fuck a duck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 127

Lust for life

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 16:00

Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 360

How could you?

By Ellie - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mission

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 787

You deserved it 7 372

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 06:00 - United States - Cecil

Today, I woke up from another nightmare, this time drowning in a rogue wave. I could feel the water and rain. I could feel myself gasping for air as I don't know how to swim, and can barely float. I'm scared if I die in my sleep, I die for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 187

Failure on every level

By Jason - 07/12/2022 06:00

Today, I had a beautiful dream. I dreamed that I somehow got into Stanford University, but in class I couldn't keep up with them. In reality, I'm terrible at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 148

Nature calls

By Oh, piss - 24/11/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I had a ridiculous dream where I was taking a piss that seemed to last forever, all while my sister was listening in and making sarcastic comments about it. I then woke up and immediately did the exact same thing, except with no sister making sarcastic comments about it. Not that it made it any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 234

Nocturnal emissions

By James - 16/11/2022 12:00 - United States - Warner Robins

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 252

What just happened?

By What did I do last night? - 07/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I've been experiencing a phenomenon where I wake up in the middle of the night, check the time, realize it's the middle of the night, and go right back to sleep. Every time I wake up after falling back asleep, I feel as though me waking up earlier was just my imagination. My own brain is gaslighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 130

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Health Introverts Mental health Miscellaneous Parents Dogs Animals Embarrassing Awkward Work Family Kids Make up Money Racism beach Pranks #FAFO NSFW Sex Intimacy AITA Love Sexism Cars Friends Coworkers Weddings Anger issues

The Top

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 805

You deserved it 2 706

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 17 264

Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. When I started to head back in, I saw a shadow move across my bedroom window. I live alone, so I waited outside and called the police. They came and investigated, only to drag my naked boyfriend out, where he promptly dumped me. I forgot our 2-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 1 748

Today, a prison officer from when I was a young offender snuck up behind me and bellowed in my ear, “ON YOUR FEET SONNY JIM, LETS BE HAVING YOU.” I have such bad memories of him that even now 30 years later, I sprang to attention hands behind my back, humiliating me in front of my wife and daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 267

Today, I had sex with my cousin's husband, multiple times. This isn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. I'm also married but haven’t been intimate with my husband in almost a year. He and I have discussed being together openly but we know it would mess up both of our lives as well as our families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 005

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 125