H8TR
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Silverdale, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
noname1025
Lamar, United States
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Wanderlei Santos
Deep ink
Today, I'm going to get my first tattoo. Too bad it's inside my colon so the surgeon can mark the section to remove. FML
Kelsie
Miami, United States
Jumping the gun
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
anne
Germany 🌶️ Spicy
Grossed out
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
branded
United States
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Chronicus Ironia
United States
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Maggie
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
UnluckyInk
Manlius, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Nice
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
Buggga
Australia
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Top comments
nasek718 2
Iguess this is a FMA not FML
soccerguy77 0
negotiation buttseks??:O
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Comments (213)
babygirlc1 5
I have to pay in that too when I really want something my bf doesn't.
luthi 0
Your money + your body = your business. His money = you have no right to complain about negotiation or control. Every marriage is different. And that marriage is between two people. Saying anyone who thinks negotiation for a tattoo is controlling will always fail at marriage is just as much off the mark as them saying he's controlling. However, it's always disturbing when I read people negotiating with sex. That never ends well.
xoxstarfirexox13 0
butt sex, anyone ;)
goliatron 9
Whoa, you must have the world's first talking butthole. Is it a solid negotiator? I have an upcoming court case, and I'm looking for a good lawyer. Is your butthole available?
therealducktape 0
rofl/// xD
claiiire_fml 17
109- we know. you don't need to clarify.
bootje 5
you should tattoo "No More" on your butt now.
claiiire_fml 17
again sourgirl? stop killing the damn jokes. you did this on another FML. we. get. the. joke.
dirtyoldman27560 0
My wife would get SO many more things she wants that way. Just sayin'. OP, buy a strap on and return the favor next time he wants something :-)
smokeysmiles 0
lol that's too funny I have to do that sometimes with my man and then I get what I want but he never gets it hahaha
madbikerz 0
<3
Domonator 16
Married people share their bodies with their spouses. if you feel sorry for the husband if his wife becomes unattractive by gaining weight, you should also feel bad for a husband whose wife gets a tattoo without discussing it first. Yes, to all tattoo lovers, I respect your choice, but for me, they are a turn-off. My wife's body is perfect already. She feels the same way about tattoos - yet another way we are compatible.