Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
Deep ink
Today, I'm going to get my first tattoo. Too bad it's inside my colon so the surgeon can mark the section to remove. FML
Jumping the gun
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Grossed out
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Nice
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Top comments
nasek718 2
Iguess this is a FMA not FML
soccerguy77 0
negotiation buttseks??:O
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Comments (213)
KoNKer 0
Your husbands a lucky man.
ddeboer4 9
I think you got played by your husband
therealducktape 0
remember children, butt secks is the best way to negotiate///x]
twilightdogstar 1
I don't think there's anything I want enough to negotiate anal for.
PainkillerJames 0
that's just funny
omega802 0
does it hurt In the butt?
jonny2x4 0
YDI for being a housewife. If you want a tat, get a job and pay for it. Otherwise, STFU and ASSume the position.
IsBitchBetter 1
Can't decide who has less respect for you-your husband for basically treating you like a hooker with the whole anal for a tattoo thing-or you for allowing it to happen. Like the world needs to see another tramp stamp.
HappyPickles 11
There have been some great comments here on COMPROMISE and NEGOTIATION. Both these concepts have something in common. When I ask people what "compromise" means, I often get the answer "it's when you don't get what you want", which is very much the typical child's response (for most children, things are simply "all or nothing"). So I'd like to offer this definition: Compromise is a decision involving more than one person where everyone involved gets at least one thing that is important to them.
stariana6 0
ew don't put that shot on here!
mub_fml 0
is yo from wisconsin