Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
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Top comments
robbilee 14
just paint it or cover it with marker
stacster 0
well grab a sharpie and start turning penises into space ships
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Comments (243)
TryptamineDreame 0
You should just draw all of that on his face when he's sleeping. And for everyone being all sensitive about other people being "racist" or whatever, grow up and get the hell over it. I can't stand that shit, I have nothing wrong with minorities but the people around here they blame every little thing on being a minority and feel like they are treated differently. Stfu. If you want to feel accepted and around "your people", then go back to the country that your family originated from :)
bv110 2
ok dude, heres some info for you, americans originated from europe! so according to what your saying all americas should flood europe? no thanks we're just fine here without you!
IHeartJimi02 0
Maybe you should grow up, stop being so ignorant and learn some facts about our country. Most if the people here originated from different countries. People getting offended by racist remarks have no need to grow up. Racism isn't cool so they have a right to be offended.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Its true. You have no idea how many douche bags over here will speak without having any idea what they're talking about.
stingray626 0
98 true that u put it in a nicer way thsn me haha
ItalianFilipino 0
LOL
joshy1234 2
haha that sucks
weissesengel 0
lolololol or ezio
deaper 16
WIN!
TryptamineDreame 0
Lol pentadik, my family is from Germany. I simply said that the people who complain that they are treated differently (when it's only when they can't get something they want, or get looked at funny) should go back to the country their family originated from. Now if I was saying that I hated people treating me differently, and I'm blaming it on where I'm from or my skin color, then I would be a hypocrite. What I said in a more simple way since you seem to be a tad bit confused, is that the people that blame shit on the color of their skin. Im talking about people that when someone doesn't like them, they blame it on their skin color and call the other person racist. THOSE people should be around people like look like them if they are so easily offended. Get off my ass pentadik, you know nothing about me that is relevant to you, so kick rocks. ;)
kittydidit 0
You're either doing a great job of putting everyone on or you're the hugest dumbass on fml...
sipher16 0
what you just said was ignorant. you generalized about all Americans when in reality only a few and most often stupid ones open their mouth.