Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
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Top comments
robbilee 14
just paint it or cover it with marker
stacster 0
well grab a sharpie and start turning penises into space ships
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Comments (243)
Alaalala 0
... at least your dad has a sense of humour!
coolchick1130 9
lol that's hilarious but sucks
NTalbott 4
You're the kind of ignorant American who makes the rest of us look bad. Thanks a lot.
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
conclusion: your dad is awesome
ucofresh 4
Wishful thinking buddy..
jonan1212 5
(.Y.)
DukeC 0
He was right.
ashseal 11
oh dang. I thought they just hated blacks, not all those people too.
TryptamineDreame 0
Lmao, talbott or whatever your name is, I never said I was speaking for other Americans, I said these were my personal opinions. There are people all over the world that have more intelligent minds and have different opinions and views as the mainstream society. You, my friend, are the ignorant American in MY eyes. :)
icecreamdriveby 5
Ahaha this guys knowledge of Australia keeps getting better and better.