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Well he's a 'dick' for saying that op!

Sometimes I'm glad my dad left. But then I realize my mom finds this stuff equally hilarious.

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Well he's a 'dick' for saying that op!

Yeh, that was hands down... er.. hands on the most embarrassing thing a dad could say about you

^ wow. Just stop

Is what he wish would of been said before he got to the point of breaking!

Sometimes I'm glad my dad left. But then I realize my mom finds this stuff equally hilarious.

He's going to buy you some new jays or something for that, right?

Probably not, maybe because not everybody is a stoner...

jays is also slang for air jordans

I'd buy him some lotion, but shoes work too.

#16 Jays are Air Jordans.

That's some serious masturbation. Their imaginations must be running wild.

I don't know it's pretty hard to think of something like that.

Are you the fish from spongebob?

Is your dick so big you mistook your leg for it? Cause how the fuck else do you hurt your leg masturbating?

There are positions you couldn't imagine.

Karma Sutra: Solo Version.

He seems like a pretty cocky man

Dude your father sounds a bit of a prick but they all do it, just got to live with it. Just remember, you're not the only one!!

I don't know why you're complaining. Your dad sounds hilarious, and was just making a joke. Plus, most kids masturbate nowadays anyways.

When did most kids not masturbate?

Yeah but here the joke is also about calling OP a cripple. Not cool!

#9 He was deliberately humiliating his kid, and at school where giving people a reason to ridicule your kid and give them shit really isn't wise. OP's dad sounds like a complete jackass.

#23, when they thought they would go to hell for it.

Maybe ask your mom to pick you up instead. It may be funny to him, but that's pure embarrassment to you.

What if OP's mother shares the same messed up sense of humor.

Well OP can either walk, or tell his friends why his dad said he heard him moan something about a unicorn in his anus.

can the OP walk though?

Damn.. u.u FYL