Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, my "friend" put itching powder in my cast while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML
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Top comments
robbilee 14
just paint it or cover it with marker
stacster 0
well grab a sharpie and start turning penises into space ships
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Comments (243)
DocBastard 40
I'm shocked that some smart mod hasn't shut down commenting yet. I've read some fairly racist and reverse-racist crap here, and I'm offended on behalf of my white, black, green, Jewish, Hindu, German, American, Australian, Canadian, and Martian brothers and sisters. This is why I moved from Namibia to Ecuador to Equatorial Guinea. If we start getting this shit here, I may have to move again.
Peasanthunter_fml 0
I would have written "the clan is okkk with me"
TryptamineDreame 0
Doc, you of all people know im not racist bahahaha you're supposed to back me up fool! Hahha im going to have to punish you now :)
ezioaudatore 0
well I sure am laughin so: success, dad
omargosh 1
yeah! draw the troll face!
SulfurPlague 0
hahah 39 i think he is
gabrielleangeliq 0
26, My. God. That. Was. Terrible.
varkey 7
lmao your dad is hilarious..... but a total jerk now you're going to have to cover up the cast all the time, or draw over it really well
mekia19 0
As an African American I find it insulting, its 2011-its not about race, creed or color. Its the human race, and when you put down ones race you are talking about yourselves...Everyone came from Africa!!! From the Asians, Indians, etc. Do some research before you try to insult someone...
MrBond007_fml 6
Well yes that is precisely what a hard core ausie is... right? plus the dudes from fiji don't even know who the he'll the KKK is. oh and if you look on the last page you will see my responses to most of the people bashing me, since fml refuses to let me respond to a comment properly.