By Anonymous - 08/05/2012 11:35 - United States

Spicy
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
I agree, your life sucks 19 753
You deserved it 35 018

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Why would you even ask that in the first place?

A necrophiliac in the making.

Comments

A necrophiliac in the making.

Idonebeenhad 17

No, he was just making fun of how she is in bed.

noto_fml 0

This isn't even an FML he was just telling the truth, take it as a sign and step your sex game up.

I feel like ripping my eyeballs out every time someone says "you dont say"

sickjairo 7

49 you mad bro?

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Gtaylorfication 0

And I feel like ripping my eyes out whenever someone says "you mad bro?"

Jakesterk96 8

OP's boyfriend- 1 OP- 0

all these people calling the guy a douche because OP isnt good in the bed? Better to tell the person or atleast help improve not complaining about it.

103 - cool story bro

Llamacod 11

Perhaps skoomaki, its time to whip out the dictionary and look up the meaning of some words. Necrophiliac would be having sex with a dead body, you know cold and lifeless. A person who is a vegetable would not be dead. So in no plausible, intelligent way is this necrophilia. Although I have read some of your comments so I can see why you would think of necrophilia

Jakesterk96 8

49- Is that a mug with a penis as the handle in your profile pic?

Tali147 16

I found SkoomaKi's joke quite appropriat and funny. OP's boyfriend appears to think she contributes to sex as much as a person in a vegetative state. Which is much as a dead body would contribute. That is to say, none.

49- you just said it.

#127 - That's why I said "making of". Being a vegetable is almost like being dead.

@Llamacod: #1 said "in the making" "as in "not a necrophiliac yet but getting there" as in "having sex with a vegetable is one step away from boning a dead person" as in "that comment makes complete sense". Edit: ninja'd

Really? We've heard that a million times. Get original. Now.

127, he said "in the making" come on son.

OP is guilty of dead fish syndrome, which no man likes. Maybe be less lazy in bed? YDI OP

The 'you don't say comment was aimed at 22 for the record. Yet, the obvious one was thumbed up, and I was buried. Oh well, no biggie. :p

Why would you even ask that in the first place?

gurly98 13

Random world... Sorry op you deserved this one

Because she's insecure, which is also why she's terrible in bed.

Role play as a vegetable is 'in' these days. I predict being cripple is next.

xStaciexLynnx 15

Youve never asked a random question like that? I thought everyone did.

Ask a stupid question. Get a stupid answer.

100- my life motto.

iLoveTo69Bitches 0

Don't be fooled by my username, I'm a big fat virgin.

Llamacod 11

Hey 118, we've seen your profile pic, you didn't have to explain it.

blissmarie 6

118 - None of us was fooled to begin with.

139- are you saying on a boyfriend/girlfriend level you shouldn't talk about certain topics? Long as its a somewhat long lasted relationship I see no problem. When you are in love (which can happen in an only dying stage) you shouldn't have to keep things to yourself. Although op did deserve it because you should put a little into sex...

I hate when people ask stupid crap like that. My ex asked me " would you still love me if I was fat," to which I responded "why, is that one of your goals?" that's why she me ex. Lol

sparklecherry 4

That's awesome 48connor

kprando25 8

118: We noticed. Especially from your pic and we needed to know that why?

OP - Maybe you shouldn't ask those kinda questions until you get you "act" together. Fake it till you make it!!!

When all else fails, try anal. I love logic.

p3mguin 7

Penguins in the backyard having sex. Anal?

kshafer08 7

YDI op. you dead fuck...

Can't find your car keys? Try anal! Oh, hey, I found em! That's the last time I go clubbing with my Wolfpack.

Starfishing! Move a little. It makes the world go round ;)

Then tell him he's not a "vegetable" where it counts. But seriously, your boyfriend really should know what to say or not when concerning sexual things, so you should talk with him about it and see if you two can work something out :) Or maybe he joked, not sure to be honest, but guys like him makes us other guys look bad.. Fyl indeed..:/ But have a nice day ~

ayooBrandon 12

shuut up, your post makes no sense

#11 - How would like to be buried? Fast and deadly? Or slowly with a thumb down every couple of minutes? Honestly take your pick, it won't change the inevitable.

unoffensivename 0

How dare you insult an FML Celebrity to the FML Dungeon with you, where the only Internet service you get is Dial-Up

ayooBrandon 12

awh look how cute #18 is, defending his little simp ass boyfriend like that

#26 - Nice, very mature. I suggest you get off this site, I don't think anyone wants you here.

ayooBrandon 12

ohhh the irony that you bring #34

#37 - Irony? It would only be irony if I insulted you personally. But I didn't, I just showed the fact that no one probably wants you here. It's not an insult. Intelligence my friend, you could use some.

Lookie here kids, another idiot who thinks he's badass by insulting someone with a good comment. Seriously, Fuck off and leave this site.

6- op's question to her boyfriend is just immature. Is that gunna make her feel better about herself knowing that if she was a vegetable she would have a bf still? If I was I sure as hell wouldn't be worried about it. And to what her bf said... How is he in the wrong? A relationship is not a one sided thing. If a girl doesn't do anything and just expects the guy to do it all then why should he care enough about her feelings when she don't care enough to even fuck him.

ayooBrandon 12

might wanna read your first comment first before coming off trying to sound smart on FML #38

#52 - I'm trying to figure out what you are wanting to gain from this. You insult a good comment for no reason. You insult someone personally. You must be a troll.

52 - You are a child.

ayooBrandon 12

lool you're stupid #61, again read your first comment before saying i troll and ok, cool #62

52, you're the definition of an idiot!

ayoo, obviously you are new here, so I will spell it out for you. G. T. F. O. Now.. Since I am sure you lack the mental processing power to figure out what that means, it's Get. The. Fuck. Off. Click the little [X] in the browser window, or close the app, and never come back. You have already sealed your fate and will forever be thumbed to oblivion

Save yourself from further embarrassment and just go.

51 - are you serious? While agree with you that relationships are definitely two-sided and communication is necessary, the whole "you don't satisfy me, so I don't give a shit about your feelings" doesn't seem like a healthy standpoint. We don't know if this is the first time hearing about her poor performance or not and some girls genuinely don't know. I agree, she shouldn't have asked the question if she wasn't prepared for the answer, but that hardly gives the boyfriend a freebie to rip on her bedroom skills. Usually that's a conversation that's approached with a little more class and consideration. Oh, and relationships comprise of more than sex - they're are people together who rarely if ever engage in sex, because sex isn't everything in a relationship.

74, reminds me of a ven diagram i saw this morning with three outer circles being love, friendship, and sex.

ayooBrandon 12

lool all these lamers catchin feelings, didnt know this site turned into a huge circle jerk

#77 - I don't even...

"Laughing out out loud these lamers"? WTF learn to type dude.

77, Did your mother give birth to you in the back seat of a car with the door open? If so did you fall out and smack your head?

ayooBrandon 12

no please continue to tell me how i troll along with your little fuck buddies like that retard 80 :D

Yeah #77, that's a shame, but still you don't understand to GTFO, how can we get rid of them if they don't understand??

Dude, quit with the Fuckery. You're doing nothing but insulting people who are showing what's wrong with you. Please, LEAVE!

Shit, the Mods deleted the comments. Never mind, move along.

There is no #84 comment

It would appear FML staff had some fun with this comment thread

If OP is in a relationship with this guy she should be acutely aware of his sensibilities, and expect a response of that nature. It makes no difference if the response was positive or negative; what matters is the way he would respond. So answering with a snide but honest remark does not make him at fault. OP is immature and insecure. That is the problem here. OP now knows her boyfriend perceives issues in their sex life. She should be looking at ways to resolve that issue, not looking for sympathy for a comment that tells her honestly that he's dissatisfied . The comment doesn't make the bf or any other man look bad. It makes OP look like she has some personal issues to work out. Many people use sarcasm when discussing sensitive topics. It allows the other person a level of distance from the sting that comes with an unpleasant truth. Don't blame the boyfriend for stating how he is dissatisfied.

Again, I don't disagree that the question is ridiculous. That was never the issue I addressed. What I said was that conversations of that nature are usually taking with more class and consideration. And honestly, you think sarcasm will come off as "this is what I really want but I'm too much of a coward to tell you openly"? Alright bud, keep dreaming. Usually sarcasm is perceived as both a defense mechanism and something to be dismissed. He wants her to change up her act? Then he can tell her in a positive manner that will make her feel both willing to try something new and excited to. Trust me - because I can pretty much guarantee that an ex-girlfriend or partner of yours has done it themselves. Subtly at it's finest folks.

I think what they were getting at is the BFs response was in a sense, letting OP down easily (metaphorically). He didn't just outright say, "you suck in bed, why am I even having sex with you?" (I'm sure that woulda really stung). There's really no good way to tell someone they suck in bed. I, myself, have been on the receiving end of a blunt outright comment on it. I woulda prefered a more subtle way of the girl I lost my virginity to then having her break up with me and say "If you lasted longer in bed the sex wouldn't have sucked." Thankfully, the next girlfriend and I worked on it together, even though the first girls comment has left me worried about my performance ever since, even after 3 years

Alright. This is just getting repetitive now. Being compared to a vegetable is not being let down easily - it's the girl equivalent of being called a two-minute man. Its still a cutting remark. And from someone who has openly admitted to be on the receiving end, if you hadn't worked things out with your current girlfriend (and she wasn't as rude about your performance as your first was, now was she? Would have been a whole different story if she was) you'd never have made progress. Few people are naturally amazing in the sac, and to be honest most of the time a person's first time is awful, and some people stick with what they think it's suppose to be. Without talking to each other, you'll never know what the other likes. How he went about it was wrong, regardless of the ridiculously insecure question that "prompted" the reply. You say that you still second guess yourself even now after 3 years. Yeah, and so will the girl who was compared to having sex with a brain-dead patient.

amy1_1bee 0

So that's obviously written by a guy.

amy1_1bee 0

Wow. Thank god you finally shut up.

Damn, you guys having an essay contest?

*creeped-out face* *shuffles away from OP's boyfriend*

Someone's a fruit...

I'm a nut! *clap clap* I'm a nut! *clap clap* I'm a N-U-T-T nut! Put my hands around my waist, Got so fresh I slapped my face I'm a nut! *clap clap* I'm a nut! *clap clap* I'm a N-U-T-T nut!

anoellem 1

^No.

42- I el-oh-eld. *clap clap*

Shut up, 46. You know you like it. Oh god, nevermind.

42- I love that song!

Sounds like you have an eidetic memory Noor, or you have a lot of spare time ;D

If you were a vegetable? What kind of question is that!

The kind I would ask ^^

anoellem 1

And I'm guessing you were expecting him to say something like "I would love you no matter what..."....shoot

Sounds like the OP's boyfriend is prepared to love her no matter what, in a manner of speaking...

He probably wouldn't mind visiting you at the hospital!