Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
mrricecakes 4
Why would you even ask that in the first place?
SkoomaKi 28
A necrophiliac in the making.
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Comments (197)
DotZz 4
What type of question is that? Who cares if you're a vegetable or not??
BoogerDawson 6
You remind me of the time I spoke to my ex wife about our sex life.... After the deed she said to me, " was that good??? " and I would say " well I didn't expect the earth to move, but I did expect you to ".....
ChickInGreenVans 12
Yawn!!
mertkay 0
Still counts
tothecorps 0
Come on wiggle your ass honey.
tothecorps 0
Come on wiggle your ass honey.
freakguy455 0
Daaaamn. You got move around, makw it fun. Squirm like you're trying to get away..
YahImThatGuy 0
YDI
mop909head 1
Op just try a little harder, no woman likes a guy whose bad in bed so what makes u think a guy likes a girl who just lays there?
I_heart_sex 1
Burn