Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
mrricecakes 4
Why would you even ask that in the first place?
SkoomaKi 28
A necrophiliac in the making.
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Comments (197)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
NEVER. CORRECT. NOOR.
Enslaved 38
Kama Sutra lessons Rule #1 Don't lie there like a vegetable!
thisgirlxp 0
woooow how low can YOU go?? ;)
linkinpark98 24
Wow... That is a really random question.
iamsostrange 6
Well good to know he doesn't have any limits in bed ..?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
...T-T I failed you, Noor. FORGIVE ME!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
I'm sure most guys wouldn't **** a vegetable. Most are phallic in shape or big and lumpy.
HarleyJM 7
I like bacon
_overandout_ 10
Two possibilities: 1. he's a douchebag, 2. you should be more energetic in bed. Or, pretty likely, a combination of the two.
Ugi 27
Or: 3 - it was a joke because there is no way you can answer a question like that. Do you honestly think you know how you would feel if your other half became a vegetable? Have you experienced anything remotely like that before? You might guess how you would feel on day 1, but how about day 60, or day 600, or 20 years later when you have sacrificed a big chunk of your own life without any possibility of any glimmer of appreciation? I have been with my wife for 15 years. I would like to think I would always love her. But would I? Really? under those circumstances? I'm kidding myself if I pretend that I know.
KungFuWater 3
Hey at least he is honest, you suck in bed. Move a little, make some noise, do something! Ha ha ha!