Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
mrricecakes 4
Why would you even ask that in the first place?
SkoomaKi 28
A necrophiliac in the making.
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Comments (197)
day624 14
I cant believe you asked that!!! At least hes being honest earn some new moves or something
Jasonf6 0
Ouch!!!
GoDieRetard 0
Why would you ask him that you Nitwit? You are probably a needy little idiot.
mzkay7 1
Don't worry about nothing I'm sure he was just being a smartass like 99% of men out there :p
brandon3747 16
Get better at sex then
itooamscrewed 10
Despite what other women seem to believe, "The Dead Fish" is not a good sex position.
deathtothepix 26
Surely lying there like a corpse takes more effort than to just naturally move and get on with it?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What's with all the YDIs? OP doesn't deserve to be treated like that! Her boyfriend sounds like a typical shallow pig who wants sex and nothing else out of a woman. The fact that he replied with this asinine comment just proves that. Big deal, so OP isn't that great at sex. If that's all the guy cares about he should be castrated. If you want your partner to be better in bed, don't be an asshole about it, coach them. It's called communication. Look into it. OP, I'm sorry your boyfriend is an asshole. You should dump him now and find a good guy. If you do become a vegetable, he'll be out the door faster than a teleporting ninja. He's not worth it.
OffToTheGayBar 9
You can't say what he does or doesn't sound like. This FML provides no clues as to his personality. Also, you can't say what he's worth. You don't know him or OP, for that matter. Stop being an ass.
kenta_fml 0
#168 He was telling her, he's probably told her tons of times, girls think they can just lay there and let the man do the work and then they bitch about how their boyfriend can't make them ******, sex is a two way street, you gotta give a little to get a little, men should no longer treat a woman as a goddess for the mere privilage of sleeping with them, stop bitching about things and do something about it dammit!
white16sox 19
144, you're new here. So here's a little tip: Hate on Noor and most times you will be thumbed down and buried.
kdawg360 0
Zing!