Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
mrricecakes 4
Why would you even ask that in the first place?
SkoomaKi 28
A necrophiliac in the making.
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Comments (197)
j_cat187 20
Wonder if a vegetable can feel and enjoy sex?
mhopper 13
Only one way to find out!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Veggie Tales + Rule 34 = A horrifying answer to that question.
CJQ_Kriss 1
gotta say ydi...dont ask a question then complain at the answer you get. he was just being honest apparently. and dont be mad that you're dead in bed. there's plenty of free **** online. watch and learn. you might even like it
br0ccoli 15
I think that's a yes.
fuqsam 5
He must not be a vegetarian...
Ugi 27
It's a stupid question, so he gave you a stupid answer. What were you expecting?
RebelYell14 4
Whether its true or not, score 1 for the boyfriend. Maybe your response ought to be to shut him out in bed.
BronyVasNormandy 12
So, he currently sticks you up his ass during sex? Or are we talking about a different kind of vegetable?
ungawd 3
There's a term for people like you. Lol watch Friday the 13th part 4 and listen to what teddy says hahaha
shannonjnae2706 0
Maybe you should invest in a copy of the Kama Sutra from your local bookstore. FYL for dating a douchebag, but YDI for not exploring your full potential between the sheets. Sex is waaaaay too much fun to just lay there. :)
thomasmaxwell12 0
I'm sorry but "would you love me if..." questions screams insecurity and just drives guys crazy. Lol so even besides the fact that he said the sex isn't great, you deserved it.