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Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

By 2classicNot2 - / Saturday 9 April 2011 07:52 / United States
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  I_iz_B_a_troll  |  23

"Are your eyes bleeding?! I'm so turned on right now...." Op, ydi for being a tease! Who goes to a bar to meet people and not sleep with them? Has the Jersey Shore taught you NOTHING?!!!

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  Expertfail  |  0

^ So rare to see a semi-colon used correctly; usually people comma splice instead. Anyway OP, at least you now have something to talk to these people about: 'remember how when I met you I looked like an unstoppable moron with red eyeliner? Hahaha...'.

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  mz_booty  |  0

#2 wotch ouTt da spelin polICE are ear hahahaaha get over it!! ur/your/you're/YOUR lol who cares!!

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  UnicornHooker  |  0

#55 Honey, you misspelled "spelling" and your FML bio is devoted to begging for messages. You really should sit down and refrain from commenting on subjects you're not qualified to talk about. Maybe if someone could actually tell you were trying to speak English, you wouldn't have to beg random Internet people for conversation.

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  No_LoveMM  |  3

Chances are she had bangs that covered it up, if not, then it couldn't have been very noticeable or you would have at the very least see people giving you odd faces.

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42 - A) Kim Kardashian has enough money to alter her appearance to look good without it. B) I'm sure a large amount of men, myself included, don't care. C) Some women look fine without makeup, and then look like trashy sluts when they decide to use it. D) Finally, some men,yself included, don't really care about makeup, unless somebody looks absolutely terrible without.

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@5: Do you shave your armpits/legs/pubic region? Do you use contact lenses? Do you wear braces? Do you whiten your teeth? Do you buy push-up bras? Do you go for hair treatment? Do you use acne cream? There are so many things we do to artificially enhance our looks. Where is the line of demarcation between natural beauty and artificial beauty? Isn't it subjective? Unless you are someone who makes absolutely NO modification -- no matter how small -- to your looks, it is a little hard to take seriously your argument that natural beauty is supreme.

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  RebornProblem  |  0

66 - The only thing I do on that list is shave, I think. I don't need acne cream, I don't get my hair done, I don't have braces, I don't wear contacts, I don't buy push-up bras for two reasons: I'm a guy, and I prefer small boobs. If by whiten my teeth you mean brush them, then yes, I also do that.

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  RebornProblem  |  0

Also, I don't like how society has made every girl think in order to be beautiful they have to wear all this make-up, and wear these designer clothes. Also, Hollywood is not setting a good example for the new generations.

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@69/70: I asked those questions to demonstrate how bodily modifications are actually very common -- I am sure there are many other forms of bodily modifications which I left out (e.g., applying hair gel). I wasn't expecting you two to answer them so literally. But thank you for taking the time anyway. Personally I don't use make-up at all because it is expensive and troublesome, but I wouldn't make the argument that being natural always trumps artificial enhancement. Showmehowtolive, you said that insofar as a girl is hygienic and has a nice personality, you would like her for who she is. But let's consider a hypothetical scenario. What if she has body odour which cannot be eradicated even after showering? Wouldn't spraying on perfume diminish her natural qualities? It is certainly not part of what we would conventionally consider to be "basic upkeep" too.

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So why is unacceptable to trick people in the visual sense but not in the olfactory sense? That is my point. It's a little arbitrary to say that artificiality is okay in one aspect but not okay in another.

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  jess6blondie9  |  2

I agree. I wish I never started wearing makeup. I feel like I can't go with out it now. Girls who don't wear it are more natural, clean, and pretty looking. And a tip to girls who don't wear it yet, don't start. It's a pain in the butt to have to wake up earlier for school just to have time to put it on. And as for Kim Kardashian goes, she looks pretty without makeup on in my opinion. She's a naturally pretty girl.

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

86 - If you have to wake up significantly earlier just to put on makeup, you're doing something wrong. It takes me 5 minutes to put it all on in the morning - that's a swipe of eyeshadow, powder, blush if I'm looking pale, and mascara.

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  jess6blondie9  |  2

101 - I'm not doing anything wrong, I take my time. When I only wore mascara it took me about 5 minutes, but now I wear eyeliner, and everything else that goes along with it so it takes me longer.

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  anilaa  |  0

It shouldn't take that long to put on make-up. It takes of at most like five minutes to put it on. And if you put on a bit of make-up it's not that bad, unless for those girls who cake it on. Make-up is supposed to enhance your natural features, like the color of your eyes or whatever, but if it gets to the point it looks really artificial then just don't..

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75, makeup isnt expensive? hahaha what are you on?(; unless its like mac or shitt like that but other than that, you can just like get some from like a rite aid or something like thatt?

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

Jess - How does it take you 5 minutes just to put on mascara? That's ridiculous. Even if you put on two coats for a thicker, fuller look, it takes a minute and a half, two minutes tops. :/ So you are doing something wrong since either you haven't learned how to put it on properly or you're giving yourself tarantula lashes.

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

But even the two minutes I suggested in my earlier post isn't rushing it. I can't possibly see how putting on mascara takes a full 5 minutes unless you're sitting for 4 of those minutes waiting for the mascara to dry, which is excessive.

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  jess6blondie9  |  2

You're so right. Me taking 5 minutes to do my mascara is SO long. I'm just gonna try my best to take less time doing it, because it only takes you 2 minutes to do yours, and that's the amount of time everyone should be getting theirs done in. And so what? Tarantula lashes are so in this season;)

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

My point is, I've never heard of anyone taking that long to do their mascara unless they're doing something wrong (i.e. doin' up some lovely-looking spider lashes). I have been present when some of my female friends have done their makeup, and it really doesn't take that long. It's not just me, and there's no reason for you to be a whiny, sarcastic bitch about it. I'm making a statement and giving you results I've gathered from MY experience, and in MY experience (including the aforementioned with my female friends), 5 minutes is definitely excessive. Oh, and food for thought: at the salon, if they're doing your makeup for you, it takes maybe one minute, possibly two if you move around.

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  Mauskau  |  34

Most of my friends are gorgeous without make-up on, and then they cover their faces with foundation and they lose it. I personally think make-up is time consuming and most girls worry about how it looks more than anything, redoing it every 5 minutes. It's expensive too and many people look better without it. The only reason young celebs look fucked up without make-up is because it damages your skin, making it age quicker. I'd rather keep my imperfections than hide them, if I'm honest. Saves my skin for the future :)

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  maripili_IN  |  15

66- People who wear braces are not necessarily using it for cosmetic reasons; impacted teeth, for example, common in pre-teen to teenagers, prevent adult teeth from coming out, and without braces and/or surgery can lead to tooth decay, gum disease, eating problems (which migh affect general health), etc. That's like saying you only want a back brace because a straighter spine looks better. And there's also something called hygiene- why wouldn't you NOT take care of yourself by using acne cream, etc.? There's a line between being obsessed about your image, and taking care of yourself. Not everyone wants to sit next to someone with poodles in their armpits every time they raise their arms.

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  FML_Elle  |  17

girls don't put on makeup for guys only. We also do it to attract friends of high status. (Beauty can draw people in!) Also, some girls wear it to feel pretty themselves so when you tell girls guys prefer natural beauty we aren't going to instantly drop our makeup and go "oh ok, this changes everything!"

By  Juliaa15  |  6

Well considering you didn't mention no one didn't want to talk to you, and no one complained, maybe you discovered the hottest new way to do eye makeup. Stay positive, there's another day to socialize and do makeup BEFORE you get there.

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

153 - You really think they're going to listen to you? You're probably 15 or something, and they're probably closer to 17 or 18. No one's going to listen to anyone telling them via an internet thread to shut up or stop replying. How do I know you're young? You assume they'll listen to you. :/ EDIT: I stand corrected. You're 12. What are you even doing on FML?! Do some homework, go to school, and relish your sweet life. Internet lesson #1: Don't assume people won't be assholes. Lesson #2: People will never listen to you, especially if you're a naive 12 year old telling them not to reply.

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  b1ondiee  |  0

why are you guys picking on me just because I'm blonde doesn't mean im dumb and thanks for that ? I really don't care what you think .. maybe you haven't figured that out yet. BYE. I'm not wasting my time anymore on rude people.

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  5t3ff1k4h  |  42

Okay, I was going to comment back reminding you that I hadn't called you an idiot, but now you ARE being an idiot. We're not picking on you; we're stating facts straight up. If you don't like it, get off the interwebz. It's obviously not a place for you. I'm not calling you an idiot because you're blonde; I'm calling you an idiot because your thick head is clearly not understanding some simple concepts. If you didn't care what people thought, you wouldn't respond with a butt-hurt attitude.

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  crazedguy  |  0

blondie looks 30 years older, no lie. and also, if you say that we're not your time, why do u bother to reply? kid, you clearly don't know anything about the Internet, as 177 wonderfully explained above

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