Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
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Top comments
mrricecakes 4
Why would you even ask that in the first place?
SkoomaKi 28
A necrophiliac in the making.
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Comments (197)
reese20 0
LOL
groupleader 7
I hate veggies, but you are one vegetable I would eat.
eman1972 4
He just needs to give you something to make you move. You're only as good as your partner!
lolfood 24
For some reason, that made me laugh
BobbieH 19
Sorry but YDI. Try being an active participant in your sex life and you won't get this type of response. Your question and the response indicates you're insecure. Get over yourself and your insecurities and you'll be happier in life.
KiddNYC1O 22
Why would you ask him about you being kinda alivo? (Family Guy)
perdix 31
Q: What's the difference between the OP and Jell-O? A: Jell-O wiggles when you eat it!
br0ccoli 15
Omg! This made me blush.
numbersystem 4
Orange you glad you're not a vegetable? Dont turnip your nose at veggie puns or I'll beet you up. :)
ezelisko 1
step up your game.
Lillebrune 7
He might just eat you up if you were a veggie ;)