Sampled

By zachhewett - 02/02/2016 22:53 - United States - Birmingham

Spicy
Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 252
You deserved it 2 833

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I hate your job too.

The kid will get his cum-uppance

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They're well mannered? This doesn't sound like manners to me...

apparently the shit he did is considered manners. VERY good. next time, on a urine test,you test the samples like this

Guys. I think she obviously meant ill* mannered and not well mannered.

Is anyone else wondering how this little shit finished so quickly? I'm just assuming that after a few seconds, you'd check to make sure nothing was awry. Unless it really only took him like ten to twenty seconds.

Well...he is a high-schooler LOL ; )

Obviously she meant bad mannered because she told OP to find a better job

I thought this was a sarcastic comment.

Maybe he's a 9th grade virgin

lololibra get at me

This is why I like how my school uses a drug dog at random to go through the school

In my state all schools have a drug dog, but athletes and band members have to take random drug tests.

What shenanigans were band members in your state getting into?

Well this one time at band camp...

@24: it's usually because they're involved in some kind of extra curricular activity and therefore represent the school.

I'm from the UK and that seems absolutely mad to me I have to admit. I don't think it would be legal for a school to drugs test a pupil, and they would probably only be punished if they were caught taking drugs on the school premises

Not a criticism btw, more an observation on cultural differences

@24 It's probably because bands, like the sports teams, travel. The schools say the athletes and band members are representing the school. That's how it is in my state anyway.

It is an interesting difference. The US is very freaked out about drugs. But the main reason is that extra-curricular activities in high school are usually administered under one large supervising body, so if its sports, band or even a math club they have to all be treated the same if they travel and compete. It's something to do with administration and funding for clubs and...something.

Well they have to test the athletes for steroids, and probably someone claimed it wasn't fair so all the clubs get tested.

In the UK you're lucky to be punished for having a cigarette in a school, let alone drugs. We had people that turned up high for most of year 11 (age 15-16) and absolutely nothing was done because they were coming to school instead of skiving. I think people got punished more for wearing black trainers instead of school shoes more than anything else. A drugs test seems crazy, and the school would probably lose government funding or something ridiculous if they even asked for it.

In my school your parent/you had to consent to the random tests. My mom always put yes so no use what happened if you didn't, but there was consent.

@24 Before marching band nationals, they looked through our bags, and in the hotel they put a piece of duct tape on our doors so if we left the room, in the morning they'd see the tape was broken. They found corn starch in my bag and thought it was coke lmao

#94 my theory for school differences is that ever since America has dropped in the world wide math and science rankings, they've focusing more on pure grades then anything else. Forgetting that kids are technically people, not just statistics.

I guess urine trouble.. Sorry

#3 - what's that they do on the drums...after a joke/pun --- 'Bah Dump Bump' or something like that LOL I laughed...yeah anyway...moving forward... : )

I'm pretty sure it's *ba dum tss*, 61... but nice try?

Why would he even cum to school that high

It's high school. If you expect 90% of them to be sober you are incorrect. Anyone that pays attention in school can tell that kids do drugs a lot more than people like to admit. It really isn't as serious as some say; imo.

You know 56 people always say that drugs and alcohol is easy to get ahold of in highschool but not once did anyone ever talk to me about drugs or alcohol. Sure there were a few kids but honestly, drugs and alcohol don't run rampant

You didn't try to talk about it tho? No ones going to go up to the bitchy girl with the screechy voice and ask to smoke. Legitimately, my high school did have a problem. White bitches get Xanax x and aderol. Guys smoke and trip. If you can't tell how high some of these kids are you shouldn't say I'm wrong. Maybe not in your situation, but every high school student I know, around districts and states will agree with me. Pay attention.

^ Did you guys miss the pun?

Sounds like you had that one coming

Does that have Abby logic behind it or did you just want to use a lame pun?

I hate your job too.

Some of the younger generations have absolutely no manners.. I feel sorry for you Op.

You're 20....

Ageism isn't restricted to the wizened. Don't be a dick just because she's twenty.

Well #16 does have a point. Jazzy is a millennial and the only generation younger younger is generation Z so either she used the wrong word or she's possibly insulting herself.

Why are people picking this apart? I say it and I'm twenty two. It doesn't mean literally the younger generations. Most highschoolers are 14-18. Alot younger compared to a twenty year old that lives on their own or has their own family. So yeah her being 20 has nothing to do with it. We mean when we grew up in 'our generation' people weren't quite as disgusting. It was more innocent in the mid to late 90's. No one would even think of doing that (unless you just lived in a really weird area lol)

We're picking it apart because she's either insulting her younger family or she's insulting millennials and gen Z's. Generations are wierd. Familial generations can vary widely by society generations. My dad is a baby boomer and my mom is a Gen X'er. Even further my siblings and I are all millennials.

And it turns out that Jazzy, you, and I are all millennials. It's also possible that the kid in the story can also be a millennial. When generations end is a fuzzy area. Depending on who is asked it ends before 2000 or after it. Also because generations prove shit. When my dad was in fourth grade my dad's class gave his teacher a mental breakdown. My mom got pregnant when she was in high school and I did jack shit in high school. People are people in all generations. Only thing that changes is culture.

My issue is the use of the word "generations"... The use is incorrect. A generation is a group of people born over twenty years. Baby boomers are 1940-1960. Gen X are 1960-1980. Millenials are 1980-2000. Gen Z are 2000-2020. So, if you are currently 17yo (born in 1999) then you are a Millenial and have one generation after you (Gen Z.) It's usually the last 10 years of the Millenials and the current school age of Gen Z. That people complain about.

For being 20 I'm very mature to be honest and I also meant as the way the younger crowd is being raised not so much discipline involved, parents would rather be their friends than be strict. Growing up I knew how to behave everywhere I went because I'd know I'd get a spanking.

I just have a problem with generalizations, you could pick douchebags from any generation.

You say you're mature..then try to say one way of raising is wrong and another right..and generalize..also brag about how mature you are and how your parents raised you..?

Wow you guys are just taking my comment way to seriously.. I know I'm mature I don't need you telling me I'm not, back when I was younger I respected my elders (still do) especially in school none of my teachers had trouble with me and of course there's the bunch that think it's funny jizzing in cups and ruining a person with authorities day (teacher.. Ect) welcome to the Internet were everyone has different views from you

> hi im mature > gets bent over internet messages

You missed gen y

#114 millennials are also called gen Y.

You kinda had it cumming, what did you expect from asking a high kid for his piss? Kidding, fyl though.

Could you have gotten him to re-test in half an hour or something? If you explained the situation the school would certainly be on your side and try to help?

i feel sad for you having that job..