Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I noticed that one of the kids selected for a test looked incredibly high. After he went into the bathroom and gave me his cup with his urine inside, I took a closer look… to see that the little shit had jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML
Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
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Top comments
alex_gen 39
I hate your job too.
melbournearsenal 18
The kid will get his cum-uppance
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Comments (124)
vincent6864 18
this makes me like my call center job a little more. fyl.
xGoldColossus 7
I've worked in two i feel your pain.
vincent6864 18
thanks
aeryn97 17
that sucks OP Sounds like it can be a disgusting job with no appreciation for the stuff you have to deal with every day. FYL
TOXICSEVENN 12
fun
ThrottleJockey 36
He's Jonny on the spot.
chronicwanker 4
then don't do it, what a ****** up job anyway why the **** would you support such a travesty by being employed by your ****** up government?
isuckwithnames 22
Police are employed by the government, are you saying there should be no police? Teachers are employed by the government, should there be no teachers? Should there be no military? Public roads? Court system?
914smv 18
Well OP sorry that you hate your job, maybe change it up for something better. Still thanks for what you do!
pasupathymuthu 16
How are you so sure that it is ****?
stumpyj 10
Most adults have come in contact with semen at some point in their life. It's not hard to distinguish from other body fluids.
Publikwerks 14
Have him charged with sexual assault.
CoupeDeAce 6
Quit your job.
muchwow87 13
Savage